


No Greater Love : Lost And Found

by Juliejul6



Category: Supernatural, The Walking Dead
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Drama, Eventual Smut, Gen, Romance, Sex, Smut, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11752089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juliejul6/pseuds/Juliejul6
Summary: With a cross over of The Walking Dead, this story portrays the beginning events of the zombie apocalypse in the mid west, during the same time frame as the the city of Atlanta fell and while Rick had woken up from a coma in a local hospital. It shows how the virus was in full effect over seas and while its barely starting in the US.Living in the same universe as The Walking Dead,  previously in the first story No Greater Love, Cas was taken by a group of unknown men. The world as we know it fell apart before Deans eyes in a traffic jam in Springfield, Missouri. A mysterious outbreak forces a survival of the fittest to take hold as Dean must set out with his brother Sam and Sam's girlfriend to find the love of his life. Secrets are undug about a curse and what they thought was Lucifer's plan, turns out to be something much more dangerous.





	1. The Beginning

Just then there was a scream and Dean's head jerked over to where it was coming from and his eyes widened at the sight. A man leaped into the air and pounced on a woman who had stepped out of the car same as Dean to see what was happening. He knocked her to the ground and started biting into her stomach. And then ripping and tearing. Dean swallowed hard and took a step back slowly, his eyes were full of terror as he watched. People began to get out of their cars and run toward Dean away from the attack.

\----

Dean stepped on the gas, his heart pounding in his chest from the terror of what he had just seen. He skidded the car into park outside the bunker a few hours later and got out as fast as he could. 

Jenny got out and ran behind him. "Wait, Dean!" She yelled after him. He stopped and faced her, the look of shear terror on his face. She could tell he was truly terrified by what they had just seen. To be honest she didn't blame him, but she hated seeing it cause if Dean was scared, that meant she should definitely be scared as well. "What the hell did we just see?"

Dean looked around, his expression was one of seriousness and worry. "I don't know. I mean I knew something like this was coming...but I...I didn't expect that." He swallowed hard, remembering the blood that seeped up from the woman's abdomen as the zombie dug its fingers into her while she was alive and then began to disembowel her. And the screams of terror around him as he watched her become one of them. The way her body jerked and bent and flenched and when she stood up the way she just attacked. "I've seen some crazy shit but that...that was...I've never seen anything like that." His voice was rough and he shook his head and turned and went into the bunker and she followed behind him, shocked about what he said. 

"Sammy!" Dean called out as he made his way down the stairs. Sam appeared stepping out of the library and Jenny ran to him and threw her arms around him. 

"Whoa." Sam said, sensing her fear. He placed a hand on the back of her head and held her body against his with the other. He looked at Dean. "What happened?"

But it was Dean's expression that worried him. His brothers face was one of shock and terror and it scared Sam. He'd never seen that look on his brothers face before. Dean slowly sat in the chair at the table and stared into space. "I don't know. We were stuck in traffic...and uh...there was an explosion. I looked up and everyone was eating each other. It was like a domino effect. They'd attack and rip and shred and feed and then that person would turn and attack someone else. There was so much blood Sammy. Blood was everywhere. People were dying all around us. I've never seen anything like it."

Sam's eyes were wide with fear and he swallowed hard as Dean spoke. "It's happening. Isn't it?"

Dean looked up at Sam but didn't respond. He didn't need to. 

"It was awful." Jenny said and rested her head on Sam's chest. 

"Well, we're safe in here." Sam replied. 

"We have to find Cas." Dean said. And Sam narrowed his eyebrows at him. 

"We can't go out there right now Dean. The world is not safe right now."

"I'm not staying here." His eyes shot up at Sam and he knew he wasn't kidding. "I need to find him. He's out there without his powers. He's literally all alone. Anything can happen to him and I can't...I can't lose him again Sammy." His voice trailed off and Sam sighed and looked at Jenny. 

"He's right. We can't leave him out there like that." Jenny told him and Sam nodded slowly. 

"Alright. But we need to head to the nearest convenience store right now. We need to stock the bunker and the trunk up with water and whatever food we can grab."

"Damn it." Dean said out loud and looked away as he just thought of something. 

"What?" Sam said curiously. 

"This means no more burgers. Doesn't it?" He looked at Sam seriously, with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. 

Sam rolled his eyes and looked back at his older brother. "Seriously?"

"What?" Dean gave him an innocent face and Sam shook his head. 

"Let me turn on the news and see if it's on there." He walked into the living room and turned on the tv, but there was only snow. He switched to every channel and there was no picture. There was only snow on the screen and a loud static noise. He went to the radio and turned it on but there was nothing but static. His eyes widened and he turned and looked at Jenny and Dean. "This isn't good." 

"What? What does it mean?" Dean narrowed his eyebrows at him. 

"It means the the US government probably fell Dean. Along with the rest of the world." His voice sounded irritated as he took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Deans number. But there was nothing but static coming from the other end. "Phones are down..."

Dean took his phone out and dialed Sam's number and got the same result. 

"Wait? There's no phones..." Jenny said and sat down next to Dean. "This is bad." 

"What's wrong kiddo? You can't live without your phone?" Dean smirked and she playfully smacked his arm. 

"Shut up bitch."

Dean's eyes widened and he raised his eyebrows at her response but he chuckled at it. They were gonna get along. He looked back over at Sam. "Alright. Phone or not. I need to find Cas. I also need to make sure Lisa and Ben are safe. And the baby..."

"Dean I don't think it's safe out there for you to be going out and finding Cas or checking on anyone."

"I'm going to find him Sam. There's nothing that you can say that will change my mind." He stood up and walked over to the bookcase where a shot gun was rested on the wall. He took it down, opened it to see if their were any bullets, and then snapped it shut with one hand. He glanced up at Sam. "Get your shit Sammy. We got business to take care of." 

Sam watched as his brother headed up the stairs and out the door. He took a deep breath and looked at Jenny who was standing now staring back at him. "He's very stubborn isn't he?"

Sam chuckled, his lips turned into a sideways grin. "Yeah. You can say that."

She looked down at the table and then back up at Sam. "I agree with him. We have to find Cas. And I need to find my brother too. We need to bring them both back here together. Safely."

Sam let out a breath and nodded. "Okay." He walked over to Jenny and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. "We'll find him okay."

She nodded slowly against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

Dean opened the front door and poked his head in. "Alright alright. Enough of the chick flick moments. You guys coming or not?"

Sam looked up at him and nodded. He grabbed his back pack off the chair and the handgun from inside the desk drawer and they headed out behind Dean. 

Fifteen minutes later they pulled into a nearby gas station. Dean got out and noticed how empty and quiet it was. There was no one around at all and there was only the sound of a soft breeze. Sam got out and shut the passenger door. "I'll get water and food. You get Gas." 

Dean nodded his eyes furrowed together as he looked around still. It didn't seem right. Something was off. He decided to shrug it off as picked up the gas pump and realized there was no electricity. "Shit." He grunted and looked at Jenny who was getting out of the car. 

"You're gonna need to go down and pry open the lids and hand pump it from the main tanks underground." She said to him and he licked his dry lips. 

"How do you know anything about cars kid?" He questioned her and she smirked at him. 

"I grew up with a big brother you know. I had to learn somehow." 

Dean smirked and went to get the crow bar out of the trunk. 

Sam walked into the gas station, the doors giving a chime as he stepped in. "Hello." He called out but he got no reply. He shrugged it off and went to the fridge and began pulling out gallons of water and carrying them to and from the gas station, placing them in the trunk. He saw Dean climbing out from underground as he was on his third trip with water and he laughed at the site of Dean's face. His face was dirty and smudged with black oil and beads of sweat glistened on his forehead. He handed Dean a bottle of water, which he gladly took and guzzled. 

He groaned as he swallowed the last of it and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "I think I got enough gas for awhile. I told Jenny to help you with the food and crap."

He glanced up to see her inside the gas station filling up shopping bags from behind the counter with food, scooping whatever she could or whatever was left. "We need to get most of this back to the bunker before we head out."

"Why? We're waisting time Sammy. Cas is out there." He snapped. 

"Yeah I know. I know you wanna get Cas back. But people are probably scavenging for this stuff and they'll probably kill for it. Whoever survived this, their only out for themselves Dean. Okay. Survivor of the fittest. We need to get it safe. Zombies aren't our only enemy right now."

"Aw come on. I know that but..." Dean snapped even though he knew he was right. He took a deep breath and calmed down for a second. "Fine. Let's hurry up then."

Sam walked in to help Jenny but stopped short when he saw someone getting up from behind the counter. 

Right away from the blood all over its body and it's bloody matted hair, he noticed it wasn't alive. It moaned and groaned as it snapped it's jaws as if it was biting the air. Sam could tell it had been a female before it was attacked. Her cheeks were stained with blood on either side of her mouth. This was the first time he had seen one of them and his eyes widened in fear. He pulled his gun out raising it to aim at its head. His heart pounded against his rib cage and his breathing was rapid as he pulled the trigger hitting it straight in the head. It's head flew back and it fell against the stand that held all the candy and knocked it over. The whole thing fell to the ground, sending candy bars and skittle packages everywhere. 

Jenny jumped back against the fridge doors at the sound of the gun shot and stared down in fear at the dead corpse on the ground. Sam still stood in shock staring at the body as Dean came running in behind him. "What the hell is going on?" He growled and then followed Sam's gaze to the body sprawled out on the floor. 

"It was one of them..." Sam said quietly and Dean looked at Sam with concern. 

"Are you okay?" That was all he cared about. 

Sam nodded slowly, still in shock. Dean patted his shoulder and glanced over at Jenny. "Finish up and let's get out of here."

He turned to go back to the car but stopped when he was halfway across the parking lot. He heard growling and moaning from behind him and he turned his head slowly to see where it was coming from. 

A herd of at least fifty of them were coming out of the woods behind the gas station. They staggered and dragged their feet, growling and moaning as they moved closer toward them through the trees. 

He swallowed hard and looked over at Sam and Jenny through the windows of the gas station filling up bags and bags of food. Sam was scooping them all off the shelf with one arm and Deans throat felt dry. "Sammy." He tried to yell out but it came out in a hoarse whisper. "Sammy!" The words finally came out and Sam stood up to look toward Dean through the window. Dean motioned with his arm to come and he saw Sammy turn to Jenny and mouth something. 

They ran out and Dean ran to the car and got in, automatically starting the car. He pulled the car over by the front door and Sam and Jenny got in quickly. Sam narrowed his eyebrows at Dean in confusion. "What the hell?"

Dean's expression was tough as he didn't reply and pressed on the gas and skidded out of the parking lot. Sam looked over out the window as the car pulled out and saw what Dean had been so persistent about. "Oh." He said and watching them as they drove away. "Jesus..."

Dean drove in silence as they drove back to the bunker. Every once in awhile they would see one staggering down the side of the road and Sam sighed and shook his head. 

"Baby what's wrong?" Jenny asked him from the back seat. 

Sam's eyes wondered and he shook his head. "I just was thinking...that thing I killed back there...was a person. An actual person..."

"Used to be." Dean said finally speaking, not taking his eyes off the road. "Not a person anymore."

Sam huffed. "I know but...it's just not fair. They probably had kids, a family..."

"A lot of things aren't fair Sammy. You should know that by now." He replied, turning his head and glancing over at him from the drivers seat. "Yes it's sad but you can't let it blind you. If anyone we know or love is one of those things, you need to take them out. Including me."

Sam swallowed hard at his words as he looked at him. "I don't know if I could."

"I mean it Sammy. I don't want to be like that. I've been down the dark side. I don't want to be like that again. So if I am ever one of those things, you gotta take me out."

Sam looked away out of his gaze and looked out the window. "Alright." 

"Promise me." He said, his voice husky with emotion. "I wouldn't even let Cas become that. I would kill him before he even turned. As hard as that might be. God help me I hope he isn't right now but if he was...I would take him out...I'd have to. Because I love him. I'd do the same for you. And because you love me you'll promise me you won't let me be that thing."

Sam turned to look at him again, noticing Deans eyes were wet from the tears that lay in them. "I promise..."

Dean looked back at the road, one hand on the wheel. "Good. We should all promise each other that right now." He was looking at Jenny in the mirror. "Doesn't matter who it is, we don't let each other become that. I want to hear you both promise me."

Sam looked behind him at Jenny in the back seat and gave her a small smile. She smiled back at him and he reached behind and took her hand. "We promise." 

Dean didn't say anything after that, he just kept driving, trying to push the thought of Cas becoming one of those things out of his head, and try to keep the positive thought that he was still alive and out there some where engraved in his brain. He had to so he could keep going. 

They dropped the stuff off at the bunker a few minutes later and automatically got back in the car and began the drive over to Lisa's house. 

As Dean was driving though he noticed how quiet the world was around him. It had an eerie feeling to it and it was unsettling but he knew it was something he would have to get used to. God knows how long it would be like this. Probably forever. The survivors would have to learn how to live again without all the luxuries they had before. This is the life they lived now and he knew there wasn't a way to stop it. 

As they pulled into the drive way of Lisa's house, it was quiet also. He turned the car off and reached over Sam in the glove compartment and grabbed his hand gun. He took it off safety and pulled the hammer back before he looked at Sam. "Stay here."

Sam nodded and Dean got out and cautiously made his way into the house. The front door was cracked open so he pushed it open, gun raised and at ready as he made his way slowly through the house. "Lisa!!! Ben!!" 

But there was silence. 

He made his way up the stairs and checked all the rooms, gun still pointed, pushing each door open, ready for anything, but no one was there. He then trotted down the stairs and walked toward the back yard. The blinds to the sliding glass were open, but so was the glass. Dean stopped as he heard a crunch beneath his feet and realized he stepped on broken glass. 

The glass wasn't open. It had been broken through. 

Then he saw Lisa and Ben wondering around the back yard, they were pacing back and forth in the middle of a group of zombies and it took him a second to realize the hard truth. 

They were one of them. 

He swallowed back a knot in his throat as he watched Ben dragging his feet and growling along with the rest of them. 

He felt like he couldn't move. It was like he was frozen in the spot he stood. His instinct was to take his gun and shoot them, to put them out of their misery, but he couldn't take them all on by himself. 

He turned and in a daze he went outside to get Sam and Jenny. Sam saw him appear from the doorway of the front door and noticed the distraught look on his face. He stood still in the doorway, staring at them for a second before he fell to his knees. It was like all the strength to stand he had, had been ripped from him. 

And Sam knew. 

And Jenny knew. 

They stepped out of the car, guns at their sides and went inside with Dean and helped him do what needed to be done. 

Dean didn't talk the whole drive to Kentucky. Sam knew the guilt was eating at him for leaving her alone. He also know he probably couldn't stop thinking of the baby he had lost. Sam didn't push it to get him to talk about it. They drove in silence, Sam watched as they drove past abandoned cars with half eaten corpse in them. Some zombies walking in and around the cars, launching at the car as they drove by but not missing. 

Finally Sam spoke up when they were half way through Missouri when it had fallen dark. "We should find a safe place to sleep Dean."

Dean nodded slowly without responding and Sam sighed. "I'm sorry about Lisa and Ben and the baby."

"I don't want to talk about it." Dean said and glanced over at Sam. "I don't want you to bring it up again either okay?"

Sam nodded slowly and turned to look straight ahead. 

"And where is safe Sam. There isn't anywhere safe." Dean said, his voice cracking a bit. 

"I don't know." Sam shrugged. "An office building or something?"

"It's probably crawling with those things."

"We'll make it safe. Take them out. Dean we have to sleep some how."

"You don't think I know that Sammy!" He shouted at him, his voice was rough and stern and Jenny's eyes widened. She'd never heard him sound like that. But Sam had and he knew it was Dean just speaking through the pain. Dean took a deep breath and looked back at the road. "I feel like this is all a dream. Like in just going to wake up tomorrow and this will all be a dream."

Sam looked out the passenger window. "I know."

"I've lost Cas. I lost Lisa and Ben. I lost my baby..."

"We'll get Cas back Dean." He said and gave him a look of assurance. 

"I really hope so Sammy." Dean said "because I can't handle losing him. I swear to God if he's one of those things..."

"He won't be." Sam said. "Cas is strong. He'll find a way out of this mess."

Dean shook his head. "I don't know. Without his powers he's helpless. Just one of those innocent humans that were out there before they were all turned."

"Maybe whoever has him is keeping him in a safe place from all this."

Dean licked his lips and turned into a drive way of a farm house. He put the car in park and pointed to the barn across the grass behind the house. "We'll camp out there for the night. We'll board up the door and keep the lights off."

Sam nodded and he got out helping Jenny out by taking her hand. She stepped out and Sam closed the door and put his arm around her. Dean carried his gun in his hand at his side and together the three of them made their way up toward the barn.

Thirty minutes later Dean was passed out on the straw, his jacket rolled up and being used as a pillow, his arms folded across his chest. Sam held Jenny against his chest on the other side of the barn. He couldn't sleep and his eyes were wide open staring at the ceiling. It was pitch dark inside the barn because they didn't want to attract the zombies and Dean nailed wood to the front door to the barn to hold it closed. There were no windows, so they were safe. 

"What are you thinking?" She said tracing small circles on his chest, noticing he was still awake. 

He looked down at her and then back up at the ceiling. "How everything went to hell so fast..." he licked his lips and sighed. "And all the innocent children and people who were killed...and how they were killed..."

"Stop." She said to him and put a finger to his lips. "We have to let it go..."

He glanced down at her. "That's what my brother tells me about things like this that we can't control."

"Cause it's true. It will eat you up." She whispered and he nodded. 

"And I'm thinking about what he told me. About killing him if he turns. I...I don't think I can."

She looked away from his gaze. She understood what he meant. "Let's hope you don't have to."

"Yeah. I hope Cas isn't one of those things. I don't think my brother will come back from that." He whispered and she leaned up hovering over him, her hair on either side of him. 

"Stop thinking of the worst." She kissed him softly on the lips and he traced his finger tips up and down her body. "Ya know, I understand why he's so adamant about find Cas. He's the love of his life. I'd do the same thing."

"Me too." He said and lifted his head up to kiss her mouth. "I want you so bad." He whispered against her lips and she looked up over at Dean sleeping soundly on the other side of the barn. 

"We could be quiet." 

He smirked at her. "I don't know if that's possible. You drive me crazy." She giggled quietly and kissed him and they made love quietly, slowly moving and not making a sound. And when they came together, it was still as satisfying as it was the first time. 

\---

Cas woke up to the sound of the door opening and light from the room behind it flooding in on his face. He tasted blood on his lips and he moaned from the pain shooting through his head. He looked up to see who had opened the door, his eyes half open from exhaustion. Cas was kneeled down in the corner of the cell, legs pulled up to his chest. 

He saw a man step into the small cell and slowly kneel in front of him. He had a small beard and a bat wrapped with bard wire in his hand, which he laid across his lap when he bent down. His face was inches from Cas's and he smelt of cigarettes and bad cologne. 

The man smiled at him, a twinkle in his eyes revealed. "I hear your something kinda special." He said to him and Cas looked up at him feeling dizzy. He could barely focus on him as the man just continued to smile an evil smile at him and give a gruff chuckle that embedded a fear in him he'd never felt before. "Who are you?" Cas whispered horsely. 

"My names Negan. And you..." he pointed at him, wagging his finger as if Cas was a child and had done something wrong. "You're going to be very useful to me."

"How...?" Cas felt like it was such an effort just to squeeze the words out. His throat was dry and he was in so much pain. 

"See...you're wife and I kind of have this...thing going on."

"My wife's dead." Cas spat. 

Negan laughed, his eyes crinkled in the corner as he did. "Oh Cas Cas Cas. For an angel, you're not very smart."

Cas lifted his head, glared at him and narrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "How do you know what I am?"

"Let's just say your wife wasn't who you thought she was and it wasn't an accident you two met."

"What?" Cas had a blank expression on face as Negans brown eyes searched his. 

"Oh there's so much for you to learn...for now I'm gonna make you a deal. I'll give this to you..." he held up the small tube that glowed with his grace. "If you'll help heal any one of my men who are effected by the virus."

"Wait. The virus...it's spread already." Cas asked curiously. 

"Oh you don't know. The curse has taken effect. Half the world is infected and turned already."

The first thing he thought of was Dean and he wondered if he was safe. He needed to get back to him but he needed his grace. 

"The curse?" Cas repeated feeling more confused as ever. "What curse?"

"Will all be explained in due time. But for now, I need you. And you need me. I think we could help each other."

Cas slowly looked down at the ground and began to go back and forth in his mind with the decision he had to make. If he didn't go along with Negan, he would most likely kill him. If he did he could get his grace back and figure out how to get back to Dean. 

"Fine. I'll help you." Cas told him. "But you have to explain everything to me of what's going on here with my wife. And the truth. Not some bullshit answer."

Negan smiled as he searched the blue eyes of the angel sitting in front of him with with his brown ones. "Deal."

He handed Cas the small tube and stood up straight. Still looking down at him he threw the bat over his shoulder and smirked "Now I think you need to take that so you can actually be useful to me, and I need to find away to get some food. Survival of the fittest." He winked at him. "You understand." Cas didn't say anything, he just stared at him. "I'll have my men here get you a room. You'll be safe there. You can wash up and meet me back outside and we can take a walk, and I'll explain everything."

Cas slowly nodded and Negan turned and walked out of the cell. Cas watched as Negan leaned in and whispered something to another guy standing behind him and the man nodded and approached him. "Come on. I'll show you to your room."


	2. "I'm cursed"

Cas followed the man to his room and when they got there, he handed him a clean outfit. Cas took it great fully, his eyebrows knitted together as he looked at the clothes he was handed and glanced up at the man. 

"Get comfortable. Meet Negan back outside when ur finished."

Cas nodded and the man left the room, shutting the door behind him. Cas looked around the small room, which reminded him more of an apartment...or was it an apartment? It had a small living room with kitchen and a bedroom. It was kind of crappy, run down, but it had electricity and clean running water. 

Cas went into the bathroom and sat his clothes down on the kitchen sink. He looked in the mirror for a second before reaching into his brown trench coat and pulling out his grace. He stared at the bottle for a minute. He'd been searching for this for so long and it was finally in his hands. He could become himself again and as much as he hated that, he knew he had to to survive and also to get back to Dean. And when he did get back to Dean he had to protect him. He put the tube inches from his face and parted his lips, slowly inhaling the white glowing substance. 

He waited a second before there was a bright flash of white light. A gust of wind picked up through out the apartment and knocked over the small Tv that was sitting in the living room, and books and papers off a book case flew off, being thrown to the floor with such force some of the pages were ripped out. Cas watched in the mirror as his eyes began to glow blue and the apparition of his angel wings appeared against the wall behind him. They spread out beautifully in black as Cas continued to glow in a beautiful white light. When it dimmed finally he smiled to himself of how good he felt. He felt like had all of his energy back, and the chest cold he was slowly apprehending was gone now. He didn't feel congested anymore and the pain that shot, through his head from the impact of the butt of the shot gun earlier didn't hurt anymore. The blood that seeped down his face from his forehead wasn't there anymore. He looked like himself again. 

He got dressed in the clothes they gave him. A white t shirt, with a blue sweater over it, and blue jeans. As promised after he was finished he went outside to meet Negan. 

He walked through the small buildings that Cas didn't quite know what they were yet. He didn't know if they were all apartments or something else. He looked around the place as he walked, his shoes crunching against the gravel and his eyebrows knotted together, taking in all he could of what he saw. 

He spotted Negan outside talking to three other men. He couldn't make out what they were saying and they left before he could catch it. Negan turned and saw Cas approaching him and smiled that eerie smile he hated. The kind that gave an evil twinkle to his eyes and sent chills up Cas's spine. 

"Well hot damn!" Negan shouted. "You look like a goddamn new person!" 

Cas didn't respond. He just cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyebrows at him. "Enough with the small talk. I want to know why I'm here. How do you know me and how do you know my wife?" 

Negan was still smiling and he put his arm around Cas's shoulders as he began to walk with him. "We'll go back to my place and have a drink and I'll explain everything."

They walked into what Cas guessed was Negan's apartment. It was a lot nicer then his. He had a huge California king size bed and a mini bar across from it. There was two small chairs in the corner and Negan motioned to one of them. "Please. Have a seat." 

Cas took a seat and watched as Negan poured to small glasses of whiskey. He handed one to Cas and set in the chair across from him, pulling up the upper part of his pant leg as he sat. Negan sipped the whiskey and Cas watched him as he closed his eyes, taking in the flavor. "Man that's good."

Cas took a sip and had to admit to himself that the flavor was the best whiskey he'd ever tasted. Even his small outings with Dean he didn't think he'd ever had whiskey that good. He furrowed his eyebrows and glanced up at Negan. "How are you able to have all this if the whole world has fallen?"

Negan's lips turned into a sideway grin as he looked at Cas. "I have my ways. Like I said survivor of the fittest. I do what I have to."

Cas looked around the room and then back at Negan. "You mean you steal from people?"

Negan sat back in his chair, his eyes never leaving Cas. "Oh I wouldn't call it that. Call it...making agreements."

Cas stared back at him. "My wife...how do you know her?"

"Mm." Negan sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he stared back at Cas. "Your wife, is a witch." 

Cas slightly moved his head to the side, his eyes staring at Negan, listening to every word. "A witch?"

"Yes. She had joined the military on a search for mother Teresa's beads. They are cursed, with disease and sickness that mother Teresa used to make her patients sick so she could heal them and raise money."

Cas stared hard at Negan, his eyes still knotted together, hanging on to every word. "So what did she want with them?"

"Well by making people sick, mother Teresa grew fortune and fame. But your wife..." he wagged a finger at him and sat back in his chair again. "She put a spell on it, dropped it into the water supply, poisoning it, raising the dead with a virus. And in result, she grew immortality." He shrugged as he said it and Cas looked away from his gaze in shock.

He looked back at Negan. "How do you know her?"

"Oh I've known her for years." He waved his hand in the air as if it was nothing. 

"You fucked her." Cas growled. 

"Ooo." Negan grinned. "Let just say, on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, Jennifer and I got it on at about..." he acted as if he was counting on his fingers. "Eleven." 

"You son of a bitch." Cas rose from his chair and grabbed Negan by the collar of his brown leather jacket and shoved him against the wall.

"Whoa whoa, easy there tiger." He said smiling down at Cas, his teeth showing and his hands up in defense. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why! Give me one good reason I shouldn't rip your heart out." Cas growled, shoving him against the wall again. 

"Because you need me."

"You fucked my wife. I need nothing from you."

"Oh but Cassie. Don't you see, she did us both wrong. Not only did she cheat on you. But she promised me immortality as well and then bailed when she had it. I need you to help me find her."

Cas slowly let his grip loose of Negan's jacket. "She's still alive?" 

Negan slightly nodded. "Very much so." 

Cas shook his head. "If she's immortal she can't be killed."

"No but...she can be captured and tortured." 

"I..." Cas was staring down at the floor now. " I don't wanna torture her." 

"Look, I understand she's your wife. But come on...Cassie...she's no good. Look around you. She killed millions of innocent people."

"She's not my wife anymore." Cas spat and Negan raised his eyebrows and smiled at him. 

"So...there's someone else." Cas's eyes glanced up at Negan and Negan nodded. "Oh I get it. Trust me. I'm not mad at you for that."

"I'd have to talk to the other angels. See what they know about this...curse." Cas said ignoring him. He would not expose Dean to anyone. 

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever there Cassie. But uh...make sure you're back here by sun down tomorrow. I know people who will find you and hunt you down. And believe me, I know how to use an angel blade."

Cas gave him a sideways glare and then disappeared right before Negan's eyes. 

\---

Dean had woke up early that next morning and stepped outside, pulling on his jacket as he did. He looked around and smelled the fresh farm air and felt an emptiness in his heart. He walked over to his car and sat on the hood. He looked around, making sure he was alone and out of ear shot. "Cas. I know this is a long shot that you got your grace back but...If you can hear me baby...I...I really miss you. I hope your safe. I'm trying my hardest to get to you. Funny thing is...I don't even know where to look."

"Look behind you." The familiar gruff voice said from behind him. Dean jumped up and turned around to see Cas standing there, with his goofy puppy dog grin and blue eyes showing brighter then he'd ever seen them. 

"Cas." Dean looked him up and down, noticing the different clothes. He knitted his eyebrows. "What the hell are you wearing?"

Cas looked down at this clothes and lifted up one side of his sweater. "Oh this attire is a long story. I'll have to explain it another time."

Dean stepped up to him. "Baby."

Cas smiled at him, revealing the wrinkles on the side of his eyes. "Dean."

Dean threw his arms around him and Cas hugged him back, softly rubbing his back. When they pulled away, Cas smiled at Dean and caressed his cheek with one hand. 

"You look good." Dean told him and Cas nodded staring into his eyes. He searched his forest green eyes, running a hand through his hair. 

"I got my so called mojo back as you call it." 

Dean grinned but felt a pinch of disappointment. "That's great Cas." 

Cas frowned and cocked his head to the side. "You're disappointed."

"No. No. I'm happy for you."

Cas raised his eyebrows. "Dean, I can read your emotions. I am a celestial being."

Dean gave a soft chuckle and kissed him. At first softly, and the harder and more passionate. His soft lips hovered over Cas's over and over, every once in awhile his tongue slipping into his mouth pressing against his, tasting him. He tugged on the back of his hair as he slowed the kiss down, his eyes closed tightly, taking his time to taste him. He wanted to feel him, to hold on to him, touch him, to make sure he wasn't dreaming. That he was in fact really there. 

Dean broke away from the kiss and as Cas tried to catch his breath, Dean opened the backseat car door. "Get in." He said seriously. 

A small smile appeared on Cas's lips as he looked at Dean. "What are you doing?"

"Oh just get in." Dean said playfully and Cas got in eyeing Dean as he did. Dean looked up to the barn to make sure Sam and Jenny hadn't woke up yet before he slipped into the back seat next to Cas. Cas was smiling at Dean as he turned and looked at him. "Dean, we are not having sex in the back of your car."

"Oh yes we are baby boy." He winked at him and leaned forward and kissed him, pulling his sweater over his shoulders and pulling his shirt off, before pushing him down on the backseat so that he was laying down underneath him. 

"Dean." Cas laughed, but it was cut short as Dean bent his head and began to leave open mouth kisses down his stomach, taking his tongue and tracing it down his abs. Cas's breath caught in his chest as Deans mouth found his dick. Dean bent his head and took all of him in his mouth, deep throating him, and Cas gasped in surprise and looked down at him, running his fingers through his hair and pulling on it. He instantly became hard inside his mouth and he moaned loudly. He had never done that to him before, and Dean made a gagging sound as he let go and looked up at him. Cas watched as Dean stroked him fast and as he threw his head back, he knew he probably wouldn't hold out very long. 

Dean seemed to sense it, so he let go and hovered over Cas staring down into his blue eyes. He kissed his lips as he pushed himself into him, planting himself firmly inside with one hard thrust of his hips. Cas moaned as he ran his fingers up and down Deans back and shoulder blades, loving every inch of him, taking in all of him. Dean kissed Cas's chin, before nipping and biting at the soft skin on Cas's throat. 

Cas lifted his hips to meet Dean's thrust as Dean pushed his legs up so he could hover over him and have an easier, deeper access. He began to stroke his own dick gently, moaning loudly at the feeling of Dean inside him. 

"Fuck Cas..." Deans eyes were close as he moaned his name as he threw his head back and slammed into him harder and faster. Passion took over and Dean leaned down and kissed his mouth, flicking his tongue against his. "I need you." Dean growled. And he did. He needed to feel something alive. The past two days the world had been cold and dead and he needed to feel energy, and life, and emotion. To feel the warmth of Cas's body, so he knew he was alive. 

He sat up and flipped him over on his stomach, at first leaving airy kisses down his back and then lifting himself up and embedding himself deeply inside him again. Cas groaned as Dean tugged his hair, pulling his head back and kissing him fiercely. Dean growled into the kiss and thrusted into him harder and faster. The windows were steamed up, despite the incredible warmth outside and Cas almost thought Dean would split him wide open. He grabbed a hold the door handle and groaned at that pain that felt so good at the same time. 

They came together a few minutes later and they both lay together in the back seat, panting and trying to catch their breath. Dean held Cas close to his body and kissed him on the lips. 

Cas gazed up at him, the arousal still in his eyes. "You've never done that before. Not like that."

Dean sat up and pulled his jeans on began to buckle them. "I needed to feel you alive. I'm sorry."

Cas sat up and pulled his own pants up. "No im not complaining. That was probably the best sex we ever had."

Dean raised his eyebrows and smirked at him. "It was wasn't it?"

Cas chuckled and leaned in and kissed him softly. "Now I have to go take care of something."

"Wait what?" Dean looked at him sternly. "You're not leaving. You just got back."

Cas glared at him. "Dean, there's something bigger going on here then just you and me and zombies and I need to figure it out."

"Well we will figure it out together. Like we always do. We've talked about this Cas. We don't do things alone anymore." His voice was stern and in his eyes held all the love and concern Dean held for him. 

"There's nothing to protect here Dean. I've got my powers back. Heaven isn't after me. They need me."

"Oh they need you? Cause that's always worked out so well before." Sarcasm spewed from his words and Cas looked down and then back up at Dean. 

"I know what you're worried about here..."

"Damn right I'm worried about it." Now he was raising his voice. 

"Dean there's so much going on here you don't know."

"Then tell me!" He growled and Cas sighed and looked away from Dean's beautiful green eyes that always had him held in some type of spell. 

"Okay, you two should be warned...but I need to tell Sam too."

Dean knitted his eyebrows at him but then slowly nodded. "Fine." He threw his shirt on over his head and then pointed at him. "But you're not leaving me. Understand?"

Cas slowly nodded and threw his own shirt on over his head. They got out of the car just as Sam was walking across the grass to them. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the steamy windows of the impala and Cas's messy hair and then looked back at them. "Really Dean?" 

"What?" Dean said innocently and then looked back at the impala and noticed the windows. He raised his eyebrows and smiled back at Sam. A twinkle in his eyes as he did. He shrugged. "It was good time. What can I say?" 

Cas looked away blushing slightly and Sam made a disgusted face. "Gross."

"Oh shut up Sammy. Let's go inside, Cas has something to tell us." He said and pushed by Sam and made his way into the barn. 

Sam looked over at Cas giving him a smile before walking over and hugging him. "I'm glad you're safe buddy."

They let go and Cas gave him a small smile, pressing his lips together and nodding. "I'm fine. Despite what happened."

"What happened?" Sam frowned and Cas motioned toward the barn. 

"I'll explain. Come on."

A few minutes later the four of them stood around in a circle in the middle of the barn listening to Cas explain what happened.

"Wait. Who the fuck is Negan?" Dean asked pointing to him with four fingers. 

"I don't know. I've never met him before." There was an edge of irritation to his voice. 

"What the hell does he want with you?" There was an edge of jealousy in Dean's voice and Cas sighed. 

"Even though jealousy is a good color on you, you need to shut up and let me explain." He snapped. 

Dean closed his mouth and raised his eye brows, surprised at Cas's sass. 

"I don't know who this Negan is. All I know is he told me he has an army of men, and a lot of power, and he told me he used to mess around with my wife. I guess she was some sort of witch and joined the army on some goose hunt for mother Teresa's beads. She put a curse on them and dropped them into the water supply. Causing this whole thing and then getting immortality in return."

"Whoa." Sam chuckled. "This is a lot to take in..."

"Trust me I know. It was hard for me to take in too."

"So she can't die..." Jenny asked, her arms folded across her chest. 

Cas looked at her. "Apparently not." 

"So how do we get rid of her." Jenny was staring back at him, focused and ready for anything. 

"That's what I need to find out. I need to get to heaven and find out what the angels know about this. They think Lucifer has something to do with it. I don't think that's the case here."

Dean chuckled. "I wouldn't doubt if he did though."

"Well. Me either. But...I need to find out regardless."

Sam frowned, his eyes were soft. "Cas, how did you get your grace back."

"The ones that captured me from the hotel with Dean. They were angels. Michael...he uh...he gave it back to me. He's dead now."

"How?" Dean asked shocked. 

"Negan's men met us on the road and killed them."

"Wait." Dean was trying to gather all this information but it was a lot. "How do they know about angels."

Cas shrugged. "I'm guessing my wife." 

"Okay. Stop calling her that. She's not your wife anymore okay?." Dean snapped and looked away angrily. 

Cas glared at him but had a small smile curled on the corner of his lips. Dean was adorable when he was jealous. "Dean enough."

"Well she's not. She's someone we need to kill. So can we find out how to lift the curse so we can do that."

"I don't think we can. But I'll get information from the other angels and I'll let you know."

"No. I said you're not leaving my sight." 

"Dean I have to do this. And I have to report back to Negan by sundown or he's coming for me. And he knows about angel blades may I need to remind you."

Dean sighed and then looked up at him again. "Fine. But you report back here and we go to Negan together. Negan's guys killed those other angels. He'll won't hesitate to kill you. He'll use you and when he doesn't need you anymore he'll kill you. We go together."

"Deans right." Jenny said and looked at Cas. "We stay together." 

Cas's looked at her and sighed. "Okay. I'll be back." 

Cas disappeared right before them and Dean jerked his arms in irritation. "Son of a bitch." He grunted. 

"What's wrong?" Jenny asked him, noticing his anger. 

"I wish he couldn't do that again." He said through gritted teeth. 

"He'll be back Dean." Sam said and Dean rubbed his forehead in frustration. Then he turned and looked at Jenny. "He's afraid he'll leave him. Dean has abandonment issues."

"I do not." Dean snapped at Sam and Sam glared at him. 

"Really? You were afraid of losing me and being alone for so long. Now you have Cas and you're afraid to lose him. We get it."

"Yeah well you were the same way." Dean said placing his hands on his hips. 

"I never said I wasn't Dean. I was. But you have to let him breathe every now and then or you will lose him."

Dean snapped him a warning look and pointed at him. "This is one of those times you just shut up."

"Boys." Jenny spoke up. "We have bigger issues. Let's not fight over this."

"So what? Now we just wait here for his feathered ass?"

Sam shrugged, his expression soft and nodded. "I guess so."

Dean sighed. "We don't even know how long we wait and this barn won't be safe for long with those things crawling around out there."

"Dean. Look. Let's just give him a couple hours. Okay?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm gonna go keep watch outside." He pushed past him and unlocked the barn door and stepped out into the warm, summer Missouri air. The temp seemed to raise the past ten minutes and the air became humid. Sweat immediately beaded his forehead as he walked to his car. He reached into the trunk and grabbed his shot gun and close the lid. He walked over to the front of the car and sat on the hood and laid the gun across his lap, lifting his head to look around his surroundings. Beside the farm, it seemed pretty quiet. There wasn't much population in Perry, Missouri. But he did wonder where the owner of the farm was or if anyone even lived there.

He glanced up at the barn and saw Jenny come out and began to walk up to him. He sighed and hung his head, running his thumb across the shit gun, deep in thought. 

When she stepped up to him she looked up at him, squinting from the sun in her eyes. "You okay?" She asked him softly. He glanced up at her and then shook his head slowly. 

"I'm fine." He said but she glared at him doubtfully. 

"Come on Dean. I do the same thing you do. You can't bullshit a bullshitter. This putting up a wall thing won't work with me." He kind of chuckled at her and hung his head as she sat on the hood next to him and looked up at him. "Tell me what you're really thinking about."

He sighed deeply and looked up soulfully before speaking. The sun made his green eyes appear a deeper green then usual and she noticed there was a deep sadness in them. "I'm thinking about what Sam said. About a fear of being abandoned. He's right. I do." He licked his lips and looked around at trees as he spoke. "I'm cursed. I don't mean that as like just a figure of speech. I mean like I'm really cursed. There's so much you don't know. Everyone I've ever cared for has died. That's life you might say and of course I know that eventually everyone has to die, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about the fight against Cancer, being killed an in accident or simply fading away in your sleep. I'm talking about being burned alive by demons, ripped apart by Lucifer, or torn apart by a room full of hell hounds. I'm talking about having to salt and burn the bodies of my loved ones, just so they can be at rest. I'm talking about pulling the blood crusted clothes off my brothers corpse while I try my best to get him back. I'm talking about seeing the grace slowly fade away from the love of my life. When I say I'm cursed, I'm not asking for attention, I'm just stating facts."

Jenny slowly looked down, listening to every word he said. It tore at her heart strings to see him in so much pain. She had always heard of him and admired his bravery, and to see him in pieces like he was it broke her. 

"I had a hard time admitting my love for Cas. I knew how deeply in love I was with him, and I knew if I admitted it to myself, that would mean I would become attached to the point if I lost him...I would never come back from it. But as time went on...that happened anyways. Growing up, I have learned that it's easier to not get too attached to someone more then necessary. You can't love someone you never had right? Eventually I learned that the loved I have for the very few people in my life, especially Cas, is what keeps me going. The only thing that keeps me human. Cas saw that in me. He saw all my flaws and still made me believe I was worth something. Cause for a long time I never thought I was."

Tears began to fall down his cheeks and he tried to choke back the tears so he didn't look weak in front of her but it was impossible. He gritted his teeth and ran a hand down his face to wipe away the tears off his soaked face. 

"I look back at a life full of pain and grief and loss. I look back at the deaths on my list, and some of them weren't monsters they were just people. Like Sam said the other day. Just normal people...like these things now...like me and you...with all their fears and mistakes. I look back at perdition. I've been there. I've been to heaven and I've been to hell. Both equally painful. Surprisingly heaven hurt more then hell. Hell was torture, bloody, dark and hopeless. And like i said I thought I deserved that. Heaven on the other hand let you relive the highlights of your life. For me it was dinner with my mom, and a Fourth of July with my brother shooting fireworks with Sam. Moments that were over too soon. It was a constant reminder of what I always wanted and how little I actually got. It reminded me that I couldn't even remember what my mother cooked for me and it reminded me of how many times Sammy actually left me. So what's worse...being trapped where those evil son off bitches would carve into me until there wasn't anything left to stick a knife in? Or being stuck in moments with your loved ones realizing you never meant the same to them as they did to you? If you ask me I'd say neither. The hardest battle is life itself. Trying to keep your heart shielded and having to pay the price every time you fail. Every time I choose to care for somebody, I could have killed them myself. Because I'm cursed and everyone I love will die...so yes...I have a fear of abandonment. I am afraid to lose Cas. Cause I know what happens when I love someone. Especially loving someone this much? That's not the price of being a hunter...it's just the price of being me."

Jenny looked at him softly as he hung his head and closed his eyes, squeezing the tears from his eyes. She stood up and stood in front of him. He looked up at her and she wrapped her arms around him, embracing him in a tight hug. He rested his head against her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her small framed body and she placed a hand on the back of his head in a comforting manner. She rubbed his back and his tears slowly became soft sobs. "It's okay Dean. It's okay to be afraid of losing someone you know. It keeps you on your feet to protect them and keep them safe. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you a good man. It makes you a good friend, brother, and a good boyfriend. It will make you a good husband to him, and maybe a good father someday. And if Cas loves you as much as you love him, he knows this about you already. If he didn't, I'm sure he would have left a long time ago." 

Dean let go and sat up straight, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes as took in a deep breath and nodded. He looked up at her, his eyes puffy and red from crying and he gave her a small smile. "You're a good person Jenny. My brothers very lucky to have you."

"No." She smiled and looked over at the barn where she had left Sam to talk to him. "I'm lucky. Your brother is one of the sweetest, most caring people I've ever met. And I'm sure you had a hand in that." She looked at him. 

Dean shrugged. "I don't know about that. He's everything I'm not. He's always been a better hunter as well." They both didn't speak for a minute and Dean sighed. "I'm starving. I could really go for a cheese burger right now."

"God me too." She said and set on the car next to him again. "Or a big juicy steak..."

"Or some Chinese food..." Dean added. 

"Mexican. Some shredded beef tacos." Her eyebrows were knitted together as she said it and they looked at each other and the broke out laughing. They almost forgot about the horror of the world around them. Only for a moment.


	3. What's Done Is Done

The visit to heaven was short and Cas left with no more information than he had before, but he told them what he had found out and that he would try and find out more and relate it back to them as soon as he knew more. 

He only had one second option and he hated it more then anyone but he had to give it a try. He summoned Crowley in the woods some where in the South Carolina woods. He sat on a rock and waited for him for at least thirty minutes before he appeared in front of him. "What do you want feathers? You know I'm incredibly busy. Especially even more so now. You know I have a lot more souls now that the..." he made quotation signs with his fingers. "Apocalypse has happened."

Cas stood up and straightened himself as he looked at him. "You know I wouldn't have called you if I didn't have a good reason."

Crowley glanced him up and down from his feet to his crystal blue eyes. "Hmmm. Nice to see your too Cas. I see you've changed your attire. You going soft on me? Oh wait...you've already slept with Dean so, I guess that answers my question."

Cas looked down at his clothes and then rolled his eyes. "These are only temporary."

"I'm sure. Whatever you say. I don't judge."

"I didn't call you for you to criticize me. I need your help." Cas growled. 

"With what?"  

"I need to know if there's any way to lift this curse."

Crowley stuck his hands in his black coat pockets and looked away. "No I don't think there is. I hear it was your wife that caused this. Am I right?"

"I...ex wife...yes." Cas stuttered with a touch of irritation to his tone. 

"Ex?" He raised his eyebrows and nodded knowingly. "That means you're with Dean again. Am I correct?"

"I...yes...what does my love life have to do with this?" His eyes bore angrily into his. 

He shrugged. "Just wondering why you would want my help. But Dean must have asked you to call me."

"No. He didn't." He said sternly. "I called you on my own. He doesn't know yet that I did."

"Ah. Keeping secrets already. That can't be healthy for your relationship."

"I'm not keeping secrets. I'm gonna tell him when I get...Crowley...stop beating around the bush. I need to know a way to lift the curse so that I can kill her."

Crowley sighed. "Okay. I'll ask my mom. Just to let you know though, even if the curse can be lifted, I doubt any of what's already been done can be undone." 

Cas nodded and looked away. "I know. Just make it quick. I have to know by sundown."

"I'll be in touch." Crowley said and disappeared. Cas sighed in defeat. He didn't know anymore then he knew this morning. It was frustrating and he felt helpless. He also felt a lot of built up anger and a feeling of betrayal knowing Jennifer had lied to him the whole time. 

\---

Dean checked his watch on his wrist and sighed as he lowered his arm. "He should have been here by now. What's taking him so long?"

They were sitting in the barn again, waiting for Cas. Sam shifted on the hay stack he sat on. "Maybe he's still finding stuff out." 

"Yeah but it shouldn't take this long." Dean growled and rested a hand on his leg and leaned on it. 

"I'm sure he'll be here." Jenny smiled at him, trying to reassure him. 

"Yeah. I'll tell you though, I don't like the fact that his wife is still alive. It makes me very uncomfortable."

"Why? Because she's a witch or because you're afraid he'll go back to her." Sam questioned and Dean glared at him. 

"Both." Dean said bluntly. 

"Dean." Jenny said to him calmly and assuringly. "Cas won't go back to her. Especially now. Not after what she's done. Besides, he loves you."

"Yeah. You're right. But I swear to god if he disappears on his own, I'm gonna kick his ass."

A gust of wind was felt around the barn and you could almost feel the powerful wings flapping around them right before Cas appeared in front of them. He cocked his head at Dean with a touch of hurt in his eyes. "You were saying Dean."

Dean went to open his mouth to say something but closed it, knowing he was probably on Cas's shit list. 

"What you don't trust me?" Cas pushed the subject as Dean tried to figure out what to say. He wasn't supposed to hear him. 

"C...Cas it's not that. It's just, you disappeared before and I..."

"You don't trust me." Cas had an edge to his voice and Dean knew he was upset. 

"Cas I..."

"What Deans trying to say is, we were just afraid you'd take it upon yourself to do this cause that's just the good person you are." Jenny filled in for Dean and Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise at her and then looked back at Cas, who had his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

"Yeah. Nothing bad baby boy. I promise."

"Dean..." Cas huffed. "You have to learn to trust me. I know I've made some stupid mistakes in the past. But that's not the person I am now. Especially since we're together now, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I love you too much."

Dean swallowed hard feeling stupid and he nodded slowly at him. "Okay baby. I'm sorry." 

"Good. Now I didn't find out anything yet." He said looking around at the three of them. "But I talked to Crowley and..."

"Wait..." Dean stood and stepped up to Cas. "You summoned Crowley?"

"Yes. I had to Dean. It was my only other option. The angels don't know anything. They had no idea about this. And if anyone's gonna know anything it would be his mother."

"Why would they think it's Lucifer Cas?" Jenny asked him and Cas looked at her. 

"What I'm guessing is bad intel. I think someone is working on the inside in heaven. Trying to cover up what's actually being done."

"So we got dirty angels now? That's awesome." Dean said sarcastically, licking his lips and jerking his head to the side. "Doesn't surprise me much."

"Tell me about it. This can't be good. Crowley said he will be in touch before sundown though so we'll find out."

"Cas we gotta get you back to Negan. We can't wait here." Dean said and sighed. "We'll hit the road. And Crowley can find us. I'm not putting your life on the line with this guy. He seemed dangerous."

"Alright." Cas said softly. Sam and Jenny got up and Sam wrapped his arm around Jenny's waist and they made their way out the barn. Dean started to follow them but stopped when he felt Cas's hand on his shoulder. 

"Dean wait." Dean turned around and looked at into Cas's blue eyes, which seemed to sparkle more now that he had his powers back. 

"Yes." Dean said softly and Cas leaned in and kissed him. Deans eyes tightly closed at the feel of Cas's soft lips closing gently around his. When he let go Cas was smiling at him. 

"I love you Dean. And I can read your thoughts and I..." Cas looked away and sighed before he looked back up to meet his forrest green eyes. "I feel your fear and I shouldn't be so hard on you for being afraid I'll leave you. All your life you've been abandoned and hurt and left and I...I don't know what to do to make you believe that I won't ever leave you. But I can promise you this. I'll spend eternity trying to prove it."

Dean's eyes gazed over Cas's features and but his expression stayed stern. "I know. And I know I should trust you more...but you've disappeared before and..."

"It's different now Dean. We're together now. You're my boyfriend. And I want us to one day take the next step and I want a future with you. I wanna get married and want us to be happy eventually finally. I'm not gonna do anything to jeopardize us in anyway. Especially not your trust. You don't have to be afraid, I'm not leaving. You're stuck with me. I love you so much Dean. I wish you had a clue of how much I love you with every inch of my celestial being."

Dean stared into his eyes as he said it. He knew he was being honest but the thought of any future seemed so bleak now. He wanted that to, but with the end of the world and everyone just surviving, what kind of life was that. It was pretty much living day to day. He didn't even know if they'd survive long enough to see the end of it. And from what it sounded like there was no way to stop it or undo what had already been done. Which meant until they were all wiped out, the undead would still walk the earth, killing everyone and everything they would come across. The only difference is it wouldn't spread, but it had already spread so much already. More then half the population had been wiped out already. 

Dean hugged Cas and kissed the soft skin right beneath his ear. "I love you too." He whispered. 

Cas smiled to himself and when Dean let go he  swung his arm around Cas's waist and smiled back at him as they walked to the car together. 

As Dean drove he was in deep thought about what Cas said about their future. He smiled to himself as he pictured it in his mind. Him and Cas living in a beach house on a secluded island, safe where no one could find them. The sun was bright and shining and he could almost hear the seagulls flying over head. He pictured Cas holding a baby girl on his hip walking out the front door to the front porche a little boy about seven years old, playing in the sand and himself just watching from the kitchen window. Cas was playfully talking to the baby on the porche swing and Dean smiled at the sight. No monsters. No zombies. No demons. Just his family and him. Away from all the horrors of the world. 

"Dean!"  Sam shouted snapping him out of the day dream. He jerked his head to Sam in the passenger seat and gave Sam a dirty look. 

"Jesus Christ Sam. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"I was talking to you and you were completely zoned out." He snapped at him. "What were you thinking about?"

Dean looked at him and took a deep breath before he cleared his throat and looked back at the road. "Nothing. What did you want?"

"I was asking you if you're hungry. I have packaged sandwiches from the gas station in the trunk in an ice chest."

Dean stomach had been growling since this morning and he knew he had to eat, despite how stressed out he was. "Um, yeah sure." 

He slowly pulled the car over to the side of road and Sam got out and made his way to the trunk, when he got back in the car with four sandwiches Dean pulled the car off to the road again and Sam passed out the sandwiches. 

Dean bit into it as he drove and he made a disgusted face. "This taste like crap."

"It's processed Dean what do you expect. You don't have a choice to be picky right now so just eat it." 

Dean knew he was right so he took another but even if he wasn't happy about it. He looked at Cas in the back seat slowly chewing with almost the same disgusted expression he had. "What's wrong babe? You don't like it either?"

"No. It's not that. I'm sure it's fine. It's just...i can't taste it like when I'm human. It taste like a bunch of microorganisms again." He sighed as he stared at the sandwich. "It's the one thing I always really miss being human. The taste of food." 

Dean smiled at him. "I bet. That's cause food is awesome."

"Dean!" Sam pointed in front of them and Dean looked at what he was pointing at. There was a family standing on the side of the road waving to flag them down. A woman and her husband and a child. Dean saw them but he stepped on the gas and sped past them, the speedometer bouncing on the dash board as the engine gave a roar and Sam's face was shocked. "Dean! You just left them there. They needed help."

"Survival of the fittest Sammy.  We don't trust anyone. They could have stolen our crap or worse."

"Dean we don't just leave people. That's not us."

"It is now." Deans voice was stern and serious and Sam's mouth was still open. 

"You just left them there to die." Jenny said from the back seat. 

"Well I hate to break it to you kiddo. They would have stolen our food, our water and our car. And they would have left us out here to die too. I understand you and Sammy have this huge heart and that's great and all. But you also have to think about protecting yourself first. Times have changed now. It's one man for himself. Things aren't the same anymore."

"Deans right." Cas spoke up. "Negan talked to me about making so called agreements to take stuff from people. I can only imagine what he does to achieve that."

"See." Dean looked at Sam. "The world isn't safe anymore Sammy. People aren't safe anymore."

Sam sat back in his seat and didn't say anything. Part of him knew he was right. The other part knew there also had to be a line drawn some where. Human beings couldn't have lost all humanity...or could they??

As they were driving through Georgia, they were about thirty min outside of Atlanta when Dean noticed the feel of the car was different. It was incredibly bumpy and there was a rumbling sound against the gravel. "Son of a bitch." Dean said out loud hitting the steering wheel and pulled the car over on the side of the road, putting it in park. 

"What's wrong?" Cas said with a husky voice from the back seat. "Why are we stopping?"

"I have a flat tire okay?" Dean snapped and opened the car door and stepped out. 

"Here, let me help you." Cas said and started to open the door. 

"No dont. I got this. I'm fine." Dean said and shut the car door. Cas slumped back into the back seat  again and sighed. Sam turned and looked at Cas who looked a little hurt by Dean snapping at him. 

"He's going through a lot Cas. Cut him some slack."

"Yeah. We all are." Cas told him quietly. 

"No what I mean is..." Sam sighed and his eyes left Cas's and he looked down and focused on the leather in the seat in front of him. "Dean had to kill his wife and step son and their unborn child yesterday."

"What?" Cas said stunned. His eyes were knitted together and he looked concerned. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"He probably didn't wanna upset you. Don't tell him I told you though."

"I won't." Cas said and looked out the window at the green trees surrounding the winding road of Georgia. "Just wish he would open up to me more."

"He's like that. You know that. If something hurts him he puts up a wall. He won't even talk about it with me. So don't hold it against him."

"I won't." Cas said and continued to look outside. They could feel Dean working on the tire by the motion of the car moving. 

As Dean worked on the tire, unscrewing the bolts and cursing under his breath while he did, he heard a groaning coming from behind him. He lifted his head up, his eyes wide with fear as he knew what it was and his mind began to try to out a quick plan together. 

His gun was in the car along with his knife. 

He looked around the ground to find something to use and his eyes fell on the lug wrench he held in his hand.  He knew from the video he watched that he had to inflict damage to brain and cerebel cortex in order to kill one of them. 

He turned body around without standing up and raised the lug wrench into the air just as the zombie launched at him, knocking him to the ground. He hit the gravel of the road hard with the weight of the zombie pressed against him, snapping it's jaws and trying to bite into him. He held his fore arm against its neck, keeping pressure to keep him from biting him. He raised the lug wrench and thrusted it into its head with all his strength he could muster up and it went limp and collapsed on top of him. 

Dean made a disgusted face as he pushed it off of  him. Blood covered his brown flannel shirt and he could feel some had splattered on his face. His breathing was rapid and his heart was racing against his chest and he could hear the pounding in his ear drums. He leaned himself up on his elbows with a groan, trying to sit up but stopped when he looked ahead of him. A herd of at least twenty or more zombies were coming out of the woods toward him. 

"Sammy!!" He screamed and it must have attracted them because they began to run toward him. 

Sam, Cas, and Jenny all got out of the car at once as Dean scrambled to his feet and ran to the other side of the car ducked down. Sam and Jenny began firing shots and he saw Cas slide his angel blade out from underneath his sweater sleeve and raise it, stabbing a few in the head as he went. 

Dean opened the car door and grabbed his handgun in the glove compartment. He pulled the hammer back and stood up, aiming at their heads and firing as he stepped forward. They began to  fall like bowling pins around them as they fired. One staggered forward and grabbed a hold of Sam's shirt and bent forward to bite his neck. He lost hold of the gun and it fell to the ground. He did the only thing he could think of and grabbed a fist full of its hair and pulled its head back but lost his footing, tripping over his own feet and stumbling backwards with the zombie on top of him. 

As soon as he hit the ground he felt a sharp pain in his side and winced in pain as he tried to hold the zombies head back from biting him. Thoughts raced through his mind as he fought he zombies snapping jaws. It growled hungrily as it fought his resistance just as Cas appeared in view grabbing it by its hair and stabbing it through the temple with the angel blade. He threw it to the side by its hair with force and Sam stared up at Cas, his chest heaving in and out. "Thanks."

Cas stared back down at him out of breath and reached a hand out to him. "Don't mention it."

Sam took his hand and Cas lifted him up off the ground and to his feet but not before Sam groaned and bent over holding his side. 

"Are you alright." Cas asked through gritted teeth and Sam nodded but Cas saw blood seeping through his fingers. "Were you bit?"

Sam shook his head hard. "No. I think I fell on a rock."

Cas looked down where Sam had been laying and confirmed it was a rock by the blood that laid on it. Cas put his hand over his would and Sam felt a burning sensation that burrowed into insides and he let out a small groan, but Cas's expression was one of confusion. "It's not working."

Sam knitted his eyebrows and looked down at his wouldn't and Cas's had lightly over it. "What? Why?"

"I don't know." Cas whispered and looked frustrated. "The curse must have made it impossible for anyone to be cured or healed. Even a power as strong as mine. You're gonna need stitches."

Dean and Jenny approached them and stopped when they was standing next to Cas. "What's happening?"

"Sam fell on a rock and it spilt his skin wide open. I can't heal him. Something's blocking my power."

"Awesome." Dean said sarcastically. "Now what?"

Cas looked around their surroundings and then back at Dean. "You need to find the nearest hospital or it's gonna get infected."

"I need to?" Dean questioned him. "That place is gonna be crawling with those things. You know that?"

Jenny lifted his shirt as Sam winced and they noticed how deep the gash actually was. "I can stitch this. But I need the proper supplies." She said to Dean. 

"You guys get to the nearest hospital. I'll report to Negan and meet back up with you guys."

"No. No way." Dean said waving his hand in the air. "I told you we do this together."

"Dean we don't have a choice." Cas growled. "Stop being stubborn for five minutes and listen to me. Sam needs medical attention and I need to report to Negan before sundown which is really close."

Dean's eyes softened as he searched Cas's. "Baby..." he whispered 

"I'll be fine. Remember you have to trust me."

Dean hung his head as he tapped the barrel of the handgun against his thigh. "Yeah. Ok."

"Hey." Cas lifted his chin to look at him. Cas's expression was both soft and serious at the same time. "I'll come back to you. I promise."

Dean slowly nodded as Cas brought his lips down to meet his to kiss him softly. He caressed Dean's cheek softly and searched his eyes one last time before he disappeared. 

Dean looked at Sam and Jenny and cleared his throat. "Alright. Let's go."  

About twenty minutes later they pulled into the nearest hospital. Jenny had her arm around Sam's waist and he leaned on her for support as they stepped out of the car and walked toward the entrance. Dean stepped out of the car and his eyes widened with surprise when he saw hundreds of bodies laying everywhere in front of the hospital. 

It was obvious the military had raided the hospital. Some of the dead were military, some were patients, some were doctors, but they were all the same way...they had turned before they died. Some of them were still alive but couldn't get up because they were missing legs or were so mutilated they couldn't walk. Some faint growls were heard in the distance and Dean had his gun raised, ready for anything inside or outside the building. 

He stepped in front of Sam and Jenny and slowly opened the hospital front doors, holding the gun with one hand. He looked around and saw nothing so he let Sam and Jenny inside. They headed up the corridor and into one of the patient rooms. Jenny helped Sam sit on the table as she rummaged through the medical supplies. 

Dean stood watch outside the door as she began to sterilize the wound. "Hurry up." Dean whispered loudly. "We can't be in one place too long. I'm sure there's more of those things out there ready to come inside." 

"I'm hurrying as fast as I can." She snapped at him. "Want me to hurt him?"

"No. I just want you to hurry up." Dean whispered  and peeked his head in the door. "How do you know how to do this anyways?"

"I was studying to be nurse remember?" She said quietly as Dean watched intensely as she slowly moved the needle from one end to the next, pulling up on the thread to pull the skin together tightly. Sam grimaced and stared down at her, watching her hands do the magic. "I know it hurts." She said and glanced up at him. 

"It's fine." He gazed at her lovingly. "I love your touch."

She smiled softly as she continued to sow the wound and Dean rolled his eyes and pulled his head back to keep watch. 

Twenty three stitches later Sam was ready to go. Jenny applied the antibacterial ointment and the gauze and Sam sort of shifted in his seat from the pain. "I know. I know." She said and taped the gauze to his side. 

She took the shirt off him completely. "You have an extra shirt with you. This ones soaked in your blood."

"Yeah. In the car." He said and she tossed it in the trash. Jenny tossed a ton of medical supplies in Deans duffle bag and zipped it up. 

Dean cleared his throat and had peeked his head back in. "Are you done molesting my brother?" 

She smiled softly at him "Yes let's go. But we need to make our way to the pharmacy. We need pain medication for that. He's gonna be in a lot of pain later."

Dean groaned and she glared at him. "You know I really don't need your attitude right now. Watch Sam.  I'll be right back."

Dean's eyes snapped back to her. "You..." he started. 

"You say I can't and I swear to God." She interrupted and glared at him. 

"It's not safe why don't you guys get that!" His eyes snapped back from her to Sam. 

"I can take care of myself, Dean." 

"No, you can't." Dean was gritting his teeth as he glared at her long and hard. "I'll go. Stay here."

Dean rushed down the hall of the hospital and Jenny sighed as she looked behind her at Sam. "Your brother is way over protective."

"Only about the people he cares about. Guess that makes you kind of special." He smiled softly at her and she laughed as she rolled her eyes. 

"Yeah well. He's a special pain of my ass." She said inspecting her tape job on his side. 

Sam chuckled. "Yeah. Mine too."

\---

Dean walked down what seemed like fifty halls till he found the room they kept the medicine. He took several bottles of Vicodin and stuffed them in his jacket pocket, still holding the gun, mumbling under his breath about how stupid everyone was being. 

Suddenly there was a sound of a cry. Not just any cry, but a new born cry. He turned and listened to it a little longer to make sure his ears were hearing correctly. He stepped out of the room and made his way out into the hall, looking down both sides of hall trying to locate where it was coming from. He continued down the right side and the crying began to get closer, till finally it was in front of him. He opened the door in front of him and his eyes widened as he saw sure enough, an infant laying on the floor. He didn't know how it got there  it was, kicking and screaming, it's little face red and scrunched up. Deans eyes glanced up behind the baby was a woman in a hospital gown, laying flat on her stomach on the ground. Her throats was torn apart and there was a gun shot wound to her head. 

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had just seen. The mother had been about to turn and probably tried to hand the baby to a soldier and that military officer shot her and left her and her infant child there. He shook his head in disbelief and stepped forward toward the baby, staring down at it. He bent down and picked up the baby and wrapping its pink blanket around it. "Shh shh shhh." Dean whispered to her with a half grin. "It's okay. I got you now. It's gonna be okay. But you gotta be quiet or those things are gonna hear you." 

It was almost like she understood what he was saying. She screamed and kicked for a second longer before quieting and staring up at him. "That a girl." He said walked out of the room with the infant still in his arms. 

When he got back to Sam and Jenny, they both stared in surprise at him as he approached them. "What is that?" Sam insisted.

"A puppy. What does it look like Sam?" He said sarcastically. 

"It looks like a baby." He snapped and Dean smiled down at the now sleeping infant in his arms. 

"I found her just laying there on the floor in one of the rooms. She was alone and her mom was dead next to her."

Sam swallowed hard as he watched his brother stare down at the baby with such affection and love, it calmed the temper he was about to have inside. He looked completely content holding the child and Sam sighed. "I'm taking were keeping her."

Dean's eyes snapped up at Sam, his smile vanishing. "Well I'm not just gonna leave her here to be eaten. I'm gonna protect this baby." He growled and Sam looked at Jenny who was smiling at Dean. 

Sam glared at her hopelessly. "No. Not you too."

She looked at Sam innocently. "What? We can't just leave her. You even said we need to help people."

Sam groaned. "She'll slow us down."

"No she won't." Dean said staring down at her and playing with her little hand. "Will you? You're just a little ray of hope for the future aren't you?"

"Cas is gonna be thrilled." Jenny said excitedly to Dean and Sam groaned. 

"Ughhh...fine." He said and took his gun out off the bed. "Let's go catch up to Cas."

Dean was still smiling at the baby. It was like he couldn't get enough of her. He followed Sam and Jenny out the front door of the hospital. 

"This means we're gonna have to stop and get a car seat, and...stuff." Sam tripped over his words. He didn't agree with keeping the child but they were right, they couldn't leave her there to be eaten or die of starvation. 

"We'll stop at a wal mart." He threw Sam the keys one handedly as they stopped in front of the impala. "You drive."

Sam sighed and unlocked the drivers door. "Of course."  

A few minutes later they were on the road and Dean sat in the back seat with the baby still in his arms sleeping. Sam watched him in the mirror as they drove. "You sure about this Dean..." he asked him. 

"My priority is protecting this baby from harm. Not just mine. All of ours." He said and looked up, eyeing both of them. 

"I get that. But are you sure you're ready to ya know...be a dad...?"

Dean looked down at the baby in his arms and felt his heart swell with love for the helpless infant. " I won't be doing it alone. I have Cas. And you guys." He swallowed hard from the anxiety of the word dad. "I'm ready."


	4. "Look what the stork brought us"

Cas appeared behind Negan, his powerful wings making a gust of wind pick up and making Negan turn around smiling from ear to ear at him. "Please tell me you got something good for me Cassie."

Cas's eyes glanced to the side and then back at Negan. "The angels don't know anything about Jennifer. But I contacted a friend of mine...well...he's not really a friend of mine...he's a demon...but he's trust worthy. His mom is a witch."

Negan raised his eyebrows and stepped forward toward him. "Go on." He said quietly. 

"She's very powerful. Possibly more powerful then Jennifer. So...he's contacting her. He should be letting me know what he finds out." 

"What did the other angels say?" He questioned and Cas shook his head. 

"They don't know anything. They still think it's Lucifer or something to that effect. When I explained what you told me they want me to report back to them as soon as we know something else. They want to help bring her down." 

Negan nodded slowly, his teeth clenched as his eyes fell to look at Cas's lips as he spoke. Cas began to feel uncomfortable as he stared at them like he was going to kiss them. "How long till you hear from this demon?"

"I told him I needed it by sun down. He should be contacting me shortly."

Negan nodded. "Alright. Great work." He said slapping Cas on the shoulder a couple times. "Keep me posted." 

"I will." Cas told him and disappeared again and transporting to his small room Negan gave him. The books and everything were still knocked over and the mess was still here. He didn't care. He only cared about grabbing his trench coat and getting back to Dean. 

He walked quickly into the bathroom and took off his jacket and he took off his jeans and put his regular clothes back on. Pulling the trench coat over his shoulders and sighed. He grinned at himself in the mirror. Now he felt like himself again. 

\--- 

They all figured a wal mart would be crowded with too many zombies to even try and get in, so they stopped at a wal greens and Dean rushed in while Sam waited outside the car to keep watch. Jenny held the baby in the back seat and Sam watched her through the rolled down window and smiled at her. "You look good with her."

She smiled up at him. "You wanna have one one day." 

Sam shook his head slowly and looked ahead of him. "Nah. Not the way the world is now. I wouldn't want to bring a baby into this. It wouldn't be fair."

It kinda pained Jenny to hear that but she understood to. 

Inside Dean scooped bottles and pacifiers and formula into his duffle bag along with packs of diapers tucking a few under his arm. He heard something being knocked over and he turned and looked behind him. He saw a zombie in the back of the store, dressed in a wal greens employee uniform soaked in blood. It hadn't seen him yet, so he grabbed a few more things of formula off the shelf and ran out as fast as he could out the front door. 

Sam saw him running and his eyes widened. Dean motioned for him to go and Sam quickly got in the car and Dean threw the stuff in the front seat and jumped in as Sam skidded the car off to the main road. 

"Were they in there too?"

"I only saw one." Dean was trying to catch his breath. "It was one of the employees. I'm sure there was more. I didn't wait to find out."

Sam shook his head and Dean reached over and took the baby from Jenny. He quickly pulled out a bottle water from Sam's back pack and grabbed one of the bottles from the duffle bag. He took a scoop of formula and dumped it inside the bottle mixing it with the water before putting the cap on and shaking it. Sam watched him in the mirror and narrowed his eyebrows at him as he saw him place the bottle in the babies mouth. 

"There ya go. I'm sure you've been wanting that for a while huh? I don't blame you."

Sam chuckled at him. "Where did you learn how to make bottles."

Dean glanced up from the baby to Sam still smiling. "I took care of you didn't I? I've been doing this since I was four. Had to be both mom and dad and brother didn't I?" He said to the baby as if the baby would answer. 

"You haven't even given her a name." Jenny told him. Dean looked up at her. He hadn't thought of that. 

"I think I'll wait for Cas." He said. Just then there was the sound of angel wings inside the car and Cas appeared in the passengers seat. Sam jumped in the drivers seat. 

"Jesus. Cas!" He let out a breath and glared at him. "Why do you do that?"

"I don't mean to." Cas said and narrowed his eyebrows at him. "Wait, why are you driving?"

Sam motioned with his head to the back seat. "Dean picked up a stole away."

Cas turned and looked behind him to the back seat to see Dean holding the baby, still feeding her, holding the bottle upright as she gulped it down quickly. Dean didn't know when she last ate so he had filled the bottle half way. He didn't want her to eat too much and get sick. 

Dean looked up at Cas looking at him, his lips parted slightly as if he wanted to say something but was speechless. "Look what the stork left us." Dean said playfully but Cas wasn't laughing. In fact he looked confused. 

"Babies aren't brought by storks. That's just a myth."

Dean's smile vanished and he glared at Cas. "I know that dumb ass. It was a joke."

"Hey!" Jenny snapped at him. "No cursing in front the baby."

Dean gave her a surprised face and then rolled his eyes. 

"Seriously. Where did you find the baby?"

"The hospital." Sam answered him. "She was left there on the floor and Dean said her mother was dead next to her."

"Yeah...she was one of those things." Dean said looking back down at the baby hungrily drinking the last of the formula, staring back at him, holding on to his finger. "But that's okay huh? Cause we're gonna be okay aren't we?"

Cas's face softened at the sight and a small smile formed on his lips. Seeing him with her was almost as if he was meant to do that.  Like he was meant to take care of her. Dean had her over his shoulder now and was patting her back. 

"What did Negan say?" Sam said keeping his eyes on the road. 

"He wants me to keep him posted. He's getting antsy I can tell. Crowley needs to hurry up. He's not gonna wait much longer."

"Why does he want your wife so bad?" Sam questioned and Cas sighed. 

"He wants to torture her. I guess she promised him immortality as well and when she got it she bailed."

"Not surprising." Dean said from the back seat still patting the baby's back softly. 

"No. It's not." Cas said. "She was very...what do they call it...selfish?"

Dean looked out the window. "You married her."

"What's that's supposed to mean?" Cas snapped back. 

"Okay okay." Sam said. "No arguing. Okay. It's the past. You guys found each other again. You love each other. Now shut the hell up."

Dean glared at Sam and then looked back out the window. He knew he was right. He didn't know why but every time he brought that woman up it irked him. Like it crawled under his skin so much and he couldn't explain it. The fact she touched him, kissed those lips that were his, touched his body, for five years. He knew he couldn't be mad at him for it. It was his fault for leaving him. It's what he wanted for him back then wasn't it? He had moved on himself hadn't he?

He was stupid and foolish back then. He wanted to turn back time, but he knew he couldn't. All he could do anything about was now. His eyes fell as he stared out the window deep in thought. "I'm sorry Cas..."

Cas stared down at his hands folded in his lap and looked out the window. "It's fine. You know if I could turn back time I would." 

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't be hard on you about it. Let's just put it behind us. Especially now. I don't want to fight anymore. We never know if one of us is gonna die tomorrow."

Cas glanced down in thought. "I love you Dean Winchester." 

Dean smiled to himself as he looked out the window. "I love you too you stupid angel."

Cas chuckled and Sam was smiling. "Lord. You two make me sick."

"I love you Sam Winchester." Jenny said and leaned forward to kiss his cheek from behind. She pressed her lips against his cheek bone. 

They all laughed and Sam smiled as he blushed. "I love you too." Sam said and pulled over to the side of the road. He shut the car off and looked at Dean. "We're getting low on gas. I'm gonna fill her up."

Dean nodded as he looked down at the baby in his arms sleeping peacefully. When Sam and Jenny had stepped out Cas turned in his seat to look at him. "Can I hold her?"

Dean nodded and passed her over to him. Cas stared down at her and gazed at her adoringly. Dean smiled while he his eyes glazed over him like a love sick puppy. "You know. She looks good on you."

He chuckled as he stared down at her, his blue eyes seeming to sparkle as pulled her little bib away from her chin. "She's beautiful Dean."

Dean couldn't stop smiling. "She is."

"You know it wasn't by accident you found her. It was fate."

Dean slumped back into the back seat. "You know I don't believe in fate but...I'm glad I found her."

"It was fate we met. You don't believe that?" Cas said glancing up at him. 

Dean couldn't argue with that. It did seem that Castiel came at a time when he needed him the most. He had taught him so much in their time together and vice versa. Without him, he couldn't have done a lot of things. 

Outside Sam finished pouring the oil into the impala and tightened the lid on the canister. Jenny stood behind him, her arms folded across her chest watching him adoringly. "You're a beautiful man Sam Winchester." 

He smiled to himself and slightly blushed as he put the canister in the trunk and closed the lid. He stepped up to her and placed his hands on her hips, his thumbs hooking onto her belt loops of her jeans and pulling her into him. "When we get back to the bunker after all this is over, I'm gonna go crazy on you."

She moaned and pressed her lips to his. "I'm gonna hold you to that." 

"Good." He said against her lips as they danced against his in a passionate kiss. She folded her arms under his and pulled him against her. 

He pulled away and she almost cried out in disappointment. "I know." He said sensing it. "But we can't stay in one place too long."

"Where we going next?" She asked playing with the the collar of his jacket. 

"To meet this Negan guy."

"Then we're gonna check on my brother right?" She said with a sadness in her eyes. 

"Yes. That's next baby. I promise." He kissed her quickly and just as they were about to get in the car they heard something behind them. 

"Winchesters. Why is it always when something goes wrong it's always you three that have caused it." 

It was Crowley's voice. 

Sam turned and looked behind him. "Don't blame Cas for this. How was he supposed to know?"

"I'm not blaming Cas. I'm blaming squirrel there in the car for leaving his stupid ass to marry this dumb broad."

Sam knocked on the window and Dean and Cas stepped out of the car, Cas still holding the baby in his arms. Crowley saw the baby and huffed. 

"Three dumb men a woman and baby." Crowley said and rolled his eyes. "Isn't this one for a sappy love story."

"Crowley." Cas handed the baby to Dean and stepped toward Crowley. "Please tell me you contacted your mother."

"I have. And she said there is no lifting the curse. But she is working on a location spell as we speak to find Jennifer."

Cas let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god."

"Yes." Crowley said as he looked down at the ground then back at Cas. "But she needs something of hers in order to do it."

Cas thought for a minute if he had anything. Then he remembered. She gave him her ring before she left for Iraq in case she never came back he'd have it to remember her by. 

"I have her wedding ring. Give me a second." He disappeared and they all looked around the sky for a second until Cas appeared again a second later in front of Crowley.  He held the diamond ring between his fingers and handed it to him. "Here. Don't need it anymore anyways."

Crowley looked into Cas's eyes and slowly took it from him. "Very well. This should do the trick. I shall be in touch."

Then he disappeared and Sam punched the air. "Damn it!"

"What?" Dean said surprised at his outburst, holding a hand over the baby's ears as if she'd hear something she shouldn't. 

"I have a bad feeling about this. He wouldn't do this if nothing was in it for him. He wants something."

Cas raised his eyebrows. "That might be true. We will find out in time. Right now I just want to find out where she is."

"Let's just get to Negan." Dean said in a husky voice. "I wanna meet this son of a bitch."

They pulled into Negan's camp later on the next morning. None of them had slept or ate since they ate that sandwich earlier that afternoon before. Jenny stayed back in the impala with the baby and was told if they didn't come back in an hour to book it back to the bunker. 

When the three of them approached the gate they were stopped by Negan's men pointing guns at them from on top of the wall. 

Cas stepped in front of Sam and Dean and looked up at them, the morning sun making him squint his eyes. "It's Castiel.  They're with me."

The men looked at each other and then pointed their guns up and motioned for the people on the ground to open the gates. 

When they were finally inside they were approached by a man named Simon who introduced himself right away. He carried a fully loaded m16 and Dean and Sam were impressed. 

"He must have got that from a military base some where near here." Sam whispered and Dean acknowledged by giving him a small nod. 

"What can I do for you boys?" He asked and Dean looked at him. 

"We're here to see Negan." Dean said in his usual husky voice. 

"We're all Negan." Simon said looking between all three of them and Dean narrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

"Fine. We're here to see the man in charge then."

"Ah. Follow me." He turned and began to walk ahead and Dean sam gave each other confused expressions. Sam shrugged and Cas just followed behind. He didn't even seem to be afraid. It was like he knew Negan wouldn't hurt him and he was right. Negan needed him. 

He led them into Negan's apartment and Dean and Sam were both impressed by what they saw. The furniture, the mini bar, the tv, even the king size bed. 

"These men are here to see you." Simon said to Negan who had his back to them and was pouring himself a drink.

He turned to see who it was and immediately recognized Cas so he motioned for Simon to shut the door. He left the room and closed the door quietly. 

"What can I do for you boys?" Negan said smiling at them. 

Sam and Dean both stood there frozen as they stared at him, wide eyed and confused. 

"Dad?" Sam said out loud. 

"I'm sorry what?" Negan asked confused and Cas narrowed his eyebrows at them in confusion as well. 

"Is it really you?" Dean questioned and Cas put a hand on Dean's shoulder. 

"'No this isn't your dad. This is Negan." He looked up at Negan and sighed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry about my friends. They've had a long drive. This is Sam and Dean Winchester.  They've come to help with finding Jennifer."

An expression of realization appeared on Negan's face as he looked between the two boys. "Ahh I see. Your John's boys. He was my brother."

"Wait what?" Dean said squinting his eyes in confusion. "I'm so confused."

"We were twins." Negan smiled. "We kind of loathed each other. Went our separate ways after he stole the love of my life from underneath me?"

"The love of your life?" Sam repeated confused. 

"Yes. Mary. I was so in love with her all through high school and he knew that but he still took her from me."

"Wait, I don't think he took her from you. Mom chose to be with him because she loved him." Dean said to him, correcting his story. 

"So you two are their boys?" Negan chuckled. "Wow. I didn't think they'd stay together. Where is your father anyway?"

"Dead." Dean said bluntly, with an icy edge to his voice, his eyes holding an anger in them as they stared back at the man. 

"Wait." Sam out a hand up to stop Dean from saying anything else. "So you're our uncle?"

"I guess so. Just like John to pretend I never existed." He grabbed his drink and slowly sat down in one of the chairs. He rubbed his forehead and Dean stared at him gritting his teeth. It took everything he had inside him to muster up enough courage to it punch him in the face. "How did he die?"

"What do you care?" Dean snapped and Cas put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Dean...calm down." He said quietly. 

"No. Where does he get off asking about dad? We didn't even know who this son of a bitch was until two minutes ago. He obviously didn't like you or he would have had us in your life."

"Dean." Sam said. "Dad had a way of hiding people in his life from us. Remember Adam."  
He then looked at Negan. "A demon killed him."

Negan looked up at Sam, confused and surprised. "A demon?"

Sam nodded slowly and Dean rolled his eyes. "I can't do this." He said and turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. 

"Dean." Cas called after him but he didn't hear him. Cas ran after him and Negan looked at Sam. 

"Your brother is just like your father. Stubborn and hard headed."

Sam chuckled and sat down in the chair across from Negan. "You have no idea. I think we both have a little of him in us." 

Negan chuckled to himself and looked down at the floor. "I'm still in shock about this."

"You? I think we're in shock. Dad never even mentioned the fact he had a brother. Let alone a twin."

"Well. Hear I am." Negan said smiling and Sam gave him a small smile. 

"Do you carry our last name?" Sam asked, trying to get all the information he could out of him. 

"No. I uh...I changed it when we went our separate ways. Our parents weren't too fond of me either. Kicked me out when I was seventeen."

"Oh. " Sam said. "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

"Well. I just didn't agree with a lot that our father did. He was an alcoholic. Came home late drunk and he would always go for me you know? He'd leave John alone. John didn't know any of this was happening."

Sam furrowed his eyebrows and licked his lips. "Why didn't you tel him any of this?"

"Not like he cared. Your dad was stubborn." He said sipping his whiskey. When he lowered the glass he sighed. "But he did have a big heart."

Sam chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah he did. He uh...gave up his life for Dean. Made a deal with a demon to bring Dean back. Dean was in a coma as good as dead. He thought he'd get ten years. But he got more like ten minutes." Sam's eyes became soft and sad as he talked about it. 

"I'm sorry to hear that." Negan said to him as he put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Yeah. Yeah. Me too."

Outside Cas was running to catch up to Dean who was on his way back to the car. Cas's shoes crunched against the sand as he ran toward Dean. "Dean!"  Cas yelled and Dean stopped and turned to look at Cas, his eyes full of pain and hurt. 

"I am not going back in there. If you and Sam wanna mess around with him you both go ahead. I don't like that son of a bitch. He's power hungry and an egotistical dick."

"No one said you have to like him, but I think we need him."

"Oh god for what Cas. He's gonna use you and spit you out like trash. Or worse...kill you. And I can't let that happen.  You're coming with me."

"He will find me Dean. I...I can't. We need a better plan then this."

"Oh so now you're a prisoner to this...this scumbag." He stepped toward Cas and pointed to him. "You continue to work with him Cas and we're done."

Cas's eyes widened with hurt as the words he spewed cut straight through his heart like a knife. "You'd leave me because of this? Something that I can't help? You think I want to work with him. I don't. I got dragged into this. So screw you Dean Winchester." Cas turned sharply and walked away from him, leaving him standing there watching him disappear back toward Negan's apartment. 

"Cas wait!" Dean said but Cas was ignoring him. He took in a deep breath and let it out. "Son of a bitch." He said then ran after him back toward Negan's place. 

Cas walked back into the apartment seeing Negan and Sam laughing together about something. He looked between the two of them and just hung his head just as Dean walked in behind him. Cas turned and looked at him and their eyes met for a second but Cas turned his head and walked over across the room and sat in the chair in the corner to get as far away from Dean as possible. He turned his head so not to look at him and rested a hand on his chin. 

Sam narrowed his eyebrows at the two of them but shook it off and looked at Dean. "He's telling me some funny child hood stories of dad when they used to get along."

"Awesome." Dean said and sat down on the bed and rubbed his forehead 

Negan leaned forward and looked at Dean. "Dean, I understand your anger and bitterness and distrust toward me. If I were you I wouldn't trust me either. But the truth is I really did love your dad."

Dean raised his head and looked up to meet Negan's eyes. "Cut the crap okay? I know dad didn't mean crap to you. You tried to take mom? You screwed my boyfriends wife? You had your men beat him up and capture him. You mean nothing for nothing that says a lot about you."

"Your boyfriend?" He glanced over at Cas who still was not looking. He was staring at the wall in deep thought and Negan laughed. "Wow..."

Dean leaned forward. "I can read you like a book. We'll help you. But then we're done here. We cut ties and you let Cas go. Understood."

Negan smiled at him. "Sure Deano. Whatever you say."  

"We'll contact you when we've found out about Jennifer. We have someone working on a location spell as we speak."

"Good. Good." Negan said smiling and Dean could tell his wheels were turning. It was like was always smiling. 

"Good." Dean got up and stepped forward so that he was nose to nose with Negan.  "And you WILL let Cas go after it's all over. Do you understand me? Cause I see you have some sort of little cult going on here or whatever it is. You think that I don't see what this really is. You're not a good person. I don't care if you're my uncle or whatever you are. Blood or no blood. You don't mean anything to me if you're not to be trusted. And I don't trust you. So I swear to God, after this is all over, you let us walk, and you leave Castiel alone or I swear with everything in me, I will rip open your rib cage and tear your heart out myself. Do you understand me?"

Negan searched his eyes, still wearing that smile that made Dean want to punch him in his face.  "You got some balls, you know that kid?"

"Yeah." Dean stepped up closer to him to the point their noses almost touching. "I get them from my father."

"You don't know who your messing with."

"No. You don't know who you're messing with. I'm just telling you right now. I'm not one of the people you harass for their things. I'm a hunter. And I know things. I know people.  A lot more powerful then all of the men you have here put together. Touch Castiel again...try me."

Then he turned and walked out the door and Negan finally wasn't smiling anymore. He was deep in thought and it was obvious that he struck a nerve. 

Sam stood up and shook hands with Negan. "It was nice meeting you."

"You too Sammy. Maybe we'll see each other again." He smirked and Sam gave him a small smile in response and looked at Cas. "Let's go."

Cas stood and followed Sam out the door. 

In the car again, Dean drove and Jenny held the baby in the back seat next to Sam and Cas sat in the passenger seat next to Dean staring out the window. Sam's eyes switched between them and he sighed. "Guys what happened over there?"

Neither of them responded and Sam sighed. "Okay. Fine. Don't answer me."

"Are you two fighting again? I thought we agreed not to fight anymore cause it's not worth it?" Jenny said to them. 

Cas swallowed a knot back in his throat  and looked away from the window for a second, then looked back out into then darkness again of the night. He was hurt and he didn't want to talk because if he did, he was afraid he'd cry. 

"Come on guys, it can't be that bad." Jenny said looking at Sam then back at them. 

"What Dean said can't be forgivin." Cas said quietly as he looked down at his lap. 

Dean ignored his response and continued to drive and Sam looked over at Dean. "What did you say?"

Dean ignored him and Sam rubbed his forehead. "Okay if you guys don't talk this out, it's not going to help."

"If you must know, he told me if I continued to work with Negan we were done." Cas said to Sam and Dean slightly glanced over at Cas with a softness in his eyes but turned back to the road. 

"Dean...what is wrong with you?" Sam said as if he was lecturing him. "You know you didn't mean that."

"I did mean it. When I said it. But I shouldn't have said it. It was a mistake. I was angry and felt betrayed. But it's unforgivable. Right?" His voice cracked a bit as he said it. 

"You promised me you'd never leave me again no matter what." Cas's snapped over to look at Dean. 

Dean swallowed back a knot in his throat as he stared down the winding road as he drove. "You're right. I did. I was wrong. And I don't deserve you...never have." 

Cas turned to look at him with those soft blue eyes that drove him insane. "That's not true."

Dean didn't respond, he just continued to drive and Cas reached over and took his hand. He folded his fingers between his and gave him a soft smile. Dean glanced over at him and then back at the road. They didn't need to apologize. They said it in silence. 

Later that night as they were driving toward Oklahoma, Cas reached a hand behind Dean and scratched the back of his head while he drove. He smiled softly as he kept his eyes on the road. Sam and Jenny were still asleep and the baby was asleep in Sam's arms. 

"Thank you for protecting me back there. That was some speech you gave Negan."

"Yeah well. You're my boyfriend and I love you. But I don't think I scared that son of a bitch. Not even a little bit. I think I pissed him off."

"Well either way, you're a good boyfriend Dean, and you do deserve me. You deserve all the love in the world. No...in the universe. You're a good man Dean. And I'm lucky to have you."

Dean looked over at Cas and then leaned in to kiss his lips real quick.  When he turned back to the road he sighed. "I'm a douche bad sometimes."

"Yes." Cas said in a husky voice. "But your my douche bag."

Dean chuckled and put his hand on Cas's legs as they drove through the night, on their way to Jenny's brothers place. They could only hope that they wouldn't find him like they found Lisa and Ben.


	5. "God marry me Cas"

Later the next morning, Cas had fallen asleep in the passenger seat, his head rested against the window. Dean looked over at him and smiled to himself. He was so in love with him. His heart felt like it was swelling with so much love for him it would explode. He didn't think he would be able to ever love anyone this much. He knew that he would never be able to leave him, as much as he made him angry sometimes or annoyed the hell out of him with his "always trying to do the right thing" Cas was his to be annoyed by, and he wouldn't trade it for anywhere in the world. 

Sam stirred in the back seat as the baby started crying in his arms. He rubbed his eyes and moaned and cleared his throat. "I didn't realize I was out."

Dean looked up in the mirror at him. "Yeah. For a couple hours." He reached in the duffle bag, keeping the car steady with one hand on the wheel, and pulled out the formula and handed it to Sam. He handed him an empty bottle and a bottle water. "She's hungry. Only give her like three ounces okay?"

"I...okay." 

"Do you want me to do it?" He said with an edge of irritation to his voice. 

"No. No. I got this." He yawned and shook his head trying to shake the sleepiness away. Dean nodded and kept his eyes on the road. 

About five minutes later they pulled into Johns familiar drive way and Dean put the car in park. He  gently reached over and ran his fingers through Cas's hair and he stirred and automatically sat up straight. "We're here baby." Dean said to him giving him a small smile and Jenny opened her eyes at the same time, yawning and sitting up in the back seat. 

The baby had just finished eating and when Sam and Cas stepped out of the car he handed the baby to Cas. Cas cradled the baby in his arms and looked down at her adoringly. "She's a miracle."

"She is." Sam smiled at the sight of him holding her and knew that Dean and him were hooked.  Hell he was hooked. She crawled her way into his heart in less then twenty four hours. He was actually excited to have a little niece. 

Dean walked around the car holding his hand gun at his side. He pointed at Cas. "You gonna stay here with her?"

Cas looked at Dean with a goofy smile on his face and then looked back down at the baby. "Yeah. I'll stay with her. We'll be fine."

Dean nodded and looked at Sam and Jenny. "Alright let's go. Jenny be prepared for anything, understand? That might not be your brother in there and you have to be prepared for that."

She took a deep breath as she looked at him in understanding.  "I am."  

"Okay. Let's go." Dean said. They made their way up to the door and Jenny fished for her keys out of her pocket. When she found them, she opened the door and let them in. 

Dean raised the gun and looked around as he stepped inside the house. "John!" He called out and a second after he heard foot steps running down the stairs. 

"Oh my god, thank god." John said appearing with a look of relief on his face, and Jenny jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. 

"Johnny i was so worried. I was scared you were one of them." She said as she hugged him tightly. 

He hugged her back tightly and looked over at Sam and Dean. "No. I locked and boarded up all the windows and kept my lights off. I've spotted a few of them through the peep hole but they mostly walk straight by."

Dean looked around the house at the boarded windows. "Well. It won't keep them out for long. Get your stuff. You're coming with us." 

"Where?" John asked them, letting go of Jenny. 

"They have a bunker. It's underground. Nothing can get in through there. They have shutters and it's completely warded from evil."

"Do you guys need food too? I have tons of food and water in the garage I saved up for an occasion like this."

"You collected food?" Sam asked him. 

"Yes. I thought that I'd better in case of a world war three. Beings former military I guess you get a little paranoid." He kind of chuckled and Dean looked at him seriously. 

"Yeah well. It's a good thing you did. We're not coming back from this for awhile."

"I kind of figured that." John said and Dean motioned his head toward the stairs. 

"Go get packed up and Sam and I will go collect everything from the garage. We'll take both cars so we can carry it all."

"Alright." And he ran upstairs quickly as Jenny was already heading toward the garage. 

"Come on. I'll show you where it all is."

They followed her inside and she unlocked the padlock on the pantry door and opened it. Stacks of boxes of food and packs of water a mile high. Dean looked up at the stacks whistled. "This is awesome. This is will definitely get us through for a long ass time."

Sam nodded and agreement and right away began carrying boxes to the car. Cas still stood by the car with the baby in his arms watching them just as Jenny appeared with a car seat from the garage. Cas smiled at her, the wrinkles crinkling on the corner of his eyes as he did. 

"This used to be my baby sisters when she was just a new born." She said when she approached him. "She died in the car with my parents, but they still kept her old car seat in case someone could use it. I'd like you and Dean to have it."

"That's really sweet Jenny. I'm sure Dean will be thrilled." Cas said softly and the sound of Dean grunting as he threw bags of canned food in the car made them turn around and look. He stopped and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his flannel sleeve. 

"Look babe. Look what Jenny's giving us?" He said with a hint of joy in his voice. 

"That's great." He replied with a small smile, his hands rested on his hips. "We're gonna need it. She's gonna be riding around a lot with us."

Cas smiled at him and looked down at the baby as he slightly bounced her a little in his arms and she looked up at him admiring his face. Jenny put the car seat in the back seat and buckled it up safely, allowing Cas to put her in and buckle her up as well. He shut the car door and opened the passenger side and got in just as Dean closed the trunk after putting the last of what could fit in there. Sam was going to drive and follow them in the other car with Jenny and Cas and John would drive back in the impala. 

As Dean pulled off on to the road he sneezed three times in a row, and his eyes widened in realization as soon as it happened. He turned his head and glared at Cas. 

"What?" Cas said to him acting innocent. 

"I'm getting sick." 

"I have nothing to do with that." He said innocently and looked out the window. 

"You literally sneezed all over me the other day." Dean argued. 

"You're the one that wanted to have sex that day I was feverish. And you stuck your tongue down my throat. So. You were probably sick before all that. Don't blame it on me Dean."

Dean didn't feel like arguing with him. He just shook his head and didn't say anything the rest of the way home. 

When they got back to bunker, Dean through his duffle bag on the table and rubbed his eyes. He hadn't slept in twenty four hours and exhaustion was pulling at him. Cas walked up behind him holding the sleeping infant and he was still smiling at her and talking to her as if she was still listening and Dean couldn't help but smile. He hadn't known Cas would take to the baby so quickly, but he did, and he even seemed excited for them to raise the child together. 

"Cas...I'm exhausted. I'm gonna crash for like a day. Are you gonna be okay?"

Cas looked up at him, his blue eyes shining more the usual as he smiled. "Yeah.  Go ahead. We'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

Cas looked at him. "I'm sure Dean. I got her. Go get some rest." 

Dean smiled and gave a slight nod at him before he kissed him quickly and headed up the stairs. 

Sam walked in finally with John and Jenny carrying some of the food and water in, as Cas looked around for a place to lay her. 

Sam approached him with a smile after he put the food he was carrying away. "You're gonna have to lay her in the car seat for now. Tomorrow, I'll make a run and go get a crib."

Cas slightly nodded and looked down at her and Sam smiled even bigger and put a hand on his shoulder. "You guys deserve this. You'll do good."

Cas's expression was one of seriousness and worry. "I know...I just...I'm not sure Dean is feeling well."

Sam looked around for a second. "Where is he?"

"He went upstairs to sleep. But he was complaining about getting sick in the car and he just looked exhausted."

"Well he did just drive a whole day."

Cas nodded slowly and Sam reached his hands out. "Let me take her. Go deal with Dean."

Cas handed her over and thanked him before he went upstairs and check on Dean. 

But Dean was already asleep, and when Cas walked into the room he was laying there with his clothes on, face down on the bed slightly snoring. 

He smiled down at him and gently covered up him up before he slipped under the covers next to him. He didn't need to sleep but he just wanted to be near him. 

Dean head was turned so that was facing him and As Cas stared at him he admired what a beautiful man he really was. He ran his fingers through the side of his hair and gently traced the shape of his lips. He found himself tracing all of his delicate features and grinning to himself as he did. 

Dean slowly stirred and scooted closer to Cas and  put an arm around him as if he subconsciously in his sleep knew he was there. Cas took that as an invitation to scoot in closer to his body, so he did and curled up against the warmth of his body. 

Dean woke up and thought he still felt the familiar weight he had felt in the middle of the night of Cas sleeping next to him. He turned his head toward his spot in the bed and touched the empty spot beside him, his eyes half closed and sleepy. The bed was cold though and he groaned and sat up in bed, running a hand through his hair and yawning. 

The door cracked open and Cas appeared in the doorway carrying a tray with scrambled eggs and spinach mixed together and Dean narrowed his eyebrows at him as he smiled 

"Good morning handsome. I know you weren't feeling well yesterday and I figured you'd need your strength."

Dean's lips turned into a small sideways grin as he sat next to him and handed him the tray. "I get breakfast in bed? Wow." He raised his eyebrows and began to dig in to the eggs. 

Cas cupped Dean's cheek with his hand and gazed at him. "Nothings to good for you baby."

Dean looked up at him as he chewed and smiled. He swallowed and dug in for a second bite. "Have you heard from Crowley?"

Cas withdrew his hand and sighed. "No. I'm afraid I haven't. It shouldn't take this long either to gain a location spell."  

"Hmmm." Dean said chowing down on the eggs as if they would leave his plate. Cas smiled at him. 

"I'm glad you like my cooking but you can relax. Don't choke Dean."

Dean froze with his fork buried in them and he looked up at Cas with a full mouth and smiled. There was a piece of egg on the corner of his lips and Cas shook his head and wiped it away with his thumb. "What am I gonna do with you?" He said affectionately.  

"Love me." And with that Dean began to dig right back into the eggs. 

"I do love you. That's why I'm scared. This guy is not someone to mess with. If I don't get that location spell fast, he's going to come after me."

"And I'll kill him." Dean said stuffing a fork full of food in his mouth. 

"Dean you can't always protect me." He said cocking his head to the side giving him puppy dog eyes. 

"Watch me." He replied chewing. 

"And he will kill you. Then what?"

"We'll cross that road when we get there. I'm not going to argue about this. We've been in shittier situations then this and we've always worked it out. We'll fix it. We always do."

"Okay." Cas said quietly as Dean finished the last bite off the plate.  He handed the tray to Cas and leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. 

"Thank you. That was really good. I'm gonna grab a shower."

Cas didn't say anything as he watched Dean get up and walk in front of him to the bath room. He sighed and went downstairs to clean the dishes he used to cook. 

When Dean came down stairs clean and fresh in a black t shirt and jeans, Cas smiled at him as he stood in the middle of the kitchen holding the baby. "Someone wants to say good morning." Cas said and Dean grinned and walked over to him and took the baby into his arms. 

"Well good morning." He said to her and smiled down at her. 

Cas grabbed his coffee cup off the counter and turned back around toward Dean. "Sam named her." He said as he took a sip of the hot liquid. 

Dean frowned and looked at Sam sitting at the table. "I told you I wanted to wait for Cas."

"Well you were taking forever and I just mentioned a few names and Cas agreed on one so...he kinda did pick the name."

He looked at Cas. "What did you decide?"

"Abigail." He smiled at him and Dean nodded in agreement. 

"Okay...I like that. You like that Abby?" He said to the baby and the baby cooed and looked up at him as he swayed back in forth, rocking her in his arms. He looked back up at Cas. "I think she likes it."

Sam cleared his throat and they both looked at him. "What?" They both said in unison and Sam looked at both of them. 

"Nothing. We just need to discuss what we're gonna do Dean."

Dean sat down slowly in the chair across from Sam. "I don't know...I few so hopeless. For the first time in a long time..."

"Me too." Sam said. "We usually have something to go on. We don't have anything."

"We have something. We will the location spell soon. We can find her. And we'll go from there."

"If Crowley brings me the location. He's been a bit MIA for a few days." Cas said, his voice holding an edge to it. 

"Give him some time. He'll come up with something. He doesn't want this more then we do." Dean said taking a piece of toast off the plate on the table and taking a bite. 

"How do you know?" Sam said frowning. "As far as we know he's happy with hell being full of souls."

Dean shook his head as he chewed. "Maybe, but his mom won't. She doesn't like it when someone is more powerful then she is. She will definitely try and find her with us and possibly try and take whatever powers she has."

"Or whatever it is she's using that holds the curse." Cas said taking a sip of the coffee. 

"The beads." Sam said to both of them. 

Cas narrowed his eyebrows and looked between both him and Dean. "Beads? What beads?"

Dean swallowed the coffee he just sipped and sat the cup on the table. "Mother Teresa." 

"I don't follow." 

"You know. Mother Teresa's beads.  The one she wore. Sam found out that's what holds the curse. That's what your wife used to out the curse on everyone."

Cas looked a little irritated and held his hand out toward Dean.  "Why didn't you bother to explain this?"

"Well it was kind of hard when we were fighting off freaking zombies, and then Sam got hurt, and the baby and all the other events that unfolded." Dean explained sternly. 

"Well I mean it would have been nice to know this information."

Sam sighed and looked at Cas. "So I guess she dropped the beads into the water supply and that's how it spread."

Cas swallowed hard and leaned his back against the counter and his eyes fell to the floor. "How could have been so stupid..." It was almost a whisper and dean leaned forward. 

"Hey..." Dean told him. "There was no way you could have known. And if anyone's to blame here, it's me for leaving you."

Cas glanced back up at Dean. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault. It's mine. Although she was very convincing." 

"It's no ones fault okay." Sam said a bit irritated with them. "Let's just figure out a way to fix this. Or at least, lift the curse. Even if what's done can't be undone. We can stop it from spreading any further."

Cas nodded slowly and Dean looked down at the baby who had fallen asleep in his arms again. 

Just then Jenny padded into the kitchen running a hand through her hair and looking groggy and sleepy. "Morning guys." 

"Good morning." Sam said and she bent down to kiss him. 

"Morning." Dean said to her. "Cas made coffee."

"Thank God." She groaned as she walked over to pour herself a cup. "That road trip killed me. I could have slept for a week." 

"You and me both." Dean said sipping his own coffee. 

"What are we discussing?" John said coming into the kitchen. 

"We need to figure out a way to lift the curse." Sam told him. 

"Oh. Well that's you boys. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to this stuff." He said sitting next to Dean at the table. 

Sam placed his hand on the table and looked at Dean and Cas.  "I'm gonna hit the books. See if I can find anything."

"Yeah." Dean chuckled. "Not like we have the internet anymore."

"Yeah." Sam chuckled "back to the old school way of finding out crap. Which is gonna take twenty times longer."

"Well." Dean stood up and laid the baby in the car seat on the table. They didn't have a bassinet for the baby yet, or a crib in the room for her to sleep in. He pulled the small blanket over her and then looked at Sam and Cas. "Let's get started." 

Later around one am in the morning, Dean and Sam still sat in the library head in the books. Dean sipped his small glass of whiskey and rubbed his forehead every ten seconds in frustration. A deep light filled the room from the lamps that were turned on in the corners of the library. Finally Sam sat up and stretched his arms behind his back and yawned. 

"Well, the only thing that I found on mother teresa  is all the good she did." Sam made quotation signs with his fingers. "She was a manipulative bitch." 

Dean raised his eye brows as he still stared down at the book he was holding. "And you wonder why I never went to church."

Sam set back in his seat and smiled at him. "Come on Dean. It would have done you some good. Admit it." 

Dean glanced up from the words he was reading. "No." He pressed his lips together and turned the page and continued to try and concentrate on what he was reading. Sam smiled and gave a small chuckle just as the sound of the front door opening upstairs sounded and slammed shut. John and Jenny came down the stairs holding a white huge box with a picture of a crib on the side. Dean saw it and stood up wide eyed and surprised as they approached him. 

"We got it at this baby place." Jenny said smirking at him. "It was really expensive. Cherry wood. I think the tag read a thousand dollars. And we had to fight off a hell of a lot of those things to get this. I hope you like it."

Dena chuckled with a smile on his face. "I don't know what to say. Thank you guys."

"You're welcome." She smiled at him. 

John handed him the box. "Oh we also got a ton of bullets and guns to carry in. We're gonna need them."

Dean nodded in agreement just as Cas came into the room. "I just got her down. Can you guys be a little more quieter.?"

"Baby," Dean said smiling at him. "Look what Jenny and John brought us." 

Cas looked at the box and then at Jenny. "That must have been dangerous."

"It was but we were fine. It was worth it for little Abby." She smiled Cas and Cas smiled back at her. 

"Well...thank you that's...very sweet."

"You and I are going to have fun putting this puppy up." Dean said looking at the box. 

"Oh yeah. Tons." Cas said and looked at Sam. "Did you find anything about the beads."

"Besides the fact she wore them everywhere...no...not a single thing." 

"That's great. So we're stuck at a dead end."

"Not necessarily." Sam said. "We have Crowley and Rowena."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Yeah if he ever contacts me. Negan's gotta be restless by now."

"Cas." Dean put both hands on his shoulders, pressed his lips together and looked deep into his eyes intensely. "He will. Okay." 

"Okay." Cas said doubtfully. "I'm gonna...go take a shower. I have baby spit up on me."

He turned and went to their room and Dean looked at them. "I'm gonna go turn in myself. I'm exhausted."

"Alright Dean." Sam said and got up to grab another book. 

"If you find anything, don't hesitate to wake me up."

Sam turned to him with another book in his hands. "Dean I don't know if we're going to find anything this way. Without the internet, our sources are limited."

"Yeah. Well. Keep looking."

Sam nodded and sat back at the table as Dean made his way to the bed room. 

Once in the bedroom, Dean took his shirt off and sat on the edge of the bed. He could hear the shower running and quietly heard Cas humming to himself. The door was slightly cracked and a small light flooded into the room. 

He hesitated for a second but then, smirked and got up, padding his way into the bathroom. The shower curtain was closed and Dean continued to smirk to himself as he stripped himself of all clothing. He pulled the shower curtain back quietly and stepped into the tub. Cas's back was turned toward him and he had his head hung running his fingers through his hair. 

Dean stepped up behind him and put his arms around his waist. Cas jumped a little but knew the feel of the familiar warm arms. He leaned back into his embrace and Dean bent his head and began to suck at the soft skin of his shoulder. The taste of water, the sweetness of his skin, and the smell of soap made his head spin. He kissed up his neck and the soft skin beneath his ear, before nibbling at his earlobe. 

"Dean..." Cas moaned and leaned his head back against Dean's shoulder. The feel of his wet skin against his, and Dean's lips softly brushing against his skin, almost made him lose it. 

Dean wrapped his arms completely and tightly around Cas's body, his arms over lapping each other around his stomach. Cas turned around in his arms and rested his hands on both of Dean's shoulders, Dean's arms rested on the small of Cas's back. 

Dean stared into his eyes, bent his head and kissed him. Lightly kissing Cas's top lip, he moaned. Then he kissed his bottom lip before crashing his mouth down over Cas's, pushing his tongue against his. A low groan escaped Dean's throat as Cas's tongue began to fight with his, turning the kiss into a much more heated one. 

Cas bent down as he continued to look up at Dean who stared down at him with a small kinky smile. But the smile disappeared as Cas took his dick into his mouth and began to suck, stroking slowly up and down as he sucked on the tip. Dean threw his head back and groaned. "Fuck Cas. So good..."

Cas continued sucking, dipping his head in slow shallow movements. He bent his head and mouth down as far as he could, taking all of Dean into his mouth. Dean tugged on the back of Cas's hair and then pushed him down further making him choke.   
Dean gasped. ""Ah...God...Cas..." 

He couldn't take it anymore. He lifted Cas to his feet and kissed him hard, sending his tongue forcefully against his. Their lips crashing over and over each other as Dean pushed Cas against the wall of the shower and lifted him up so his legs were wrapped around his waist. The hot water running over both of them, Cas threw his head back, giving Dean access to his throat which Dean took. A low groan escaping from deep within him, Dean left open mouth kisses down his throat and his collar bone, getting a satisfying moan from Cas in response. 

Cas dug his nails into Dean's shoulder blades before sliding his hands down to grab a hold of his ass. He pulled him against him, begging for him to fuck him with his body. He could feel Dean erection and the tip of his hard dick pushing against his entrance. "Dean...please...touch me."  
He growled. 

"Yeah?" He groaned against his ear, stroking Cas's dick a really fast. "Want me to fuck You. Fuck my angel. Fuck you till you can't walk. Make you come so good."

Cas's breath caught in his chest and he dug into the skin of Dean's ass with his nails as he stared into his eyes intensely with lust. "Do it. Make me feel good."

He pushed his dick inside and Cas wrapped his arms around his neck as he closed his eyes. The feel of Dean pushing himself inside him hurt, but felt so good at the same time. Cas pushed Dean's wet hair back so he could look into his eyes. 

"Fuck Cas." Dean said as he thrusted into him, pounding their bodies against the wall of the shower stall. "You're so tight..." he groaned and Cas let out a whimper as Dean begin to pick up the pace once he was fully inside him. The sound of Cas panting and the feel of their wet body's being pushed together was enough to send Dean over the edge. He thrusted harder and Cas lifted his hips to meet Dean's thrust best he could. 

"Dean...God...Fuck me." Dean stroked Cas harder until Cas's breath hitch and he felt the warm sticky liquid on his hand.  That sent Dean over the edge and he kicked his hips into him four more times and growled into Cas's neck as he buried his nose into it, before coming deep inside him and then holding himself there. 

He panted hard as Cas ran his fingers up and down Dean's back softly as he slowly came down from his high. Dean lifted his head and pressed his forehead against Cas's staring into his eyes. "I love you Castiel. I love you. God I love you."

Cas kissed Dean softly and ran his fingers through his wet hair and whispered against his skin. "I love you Dean Winchester." 

"God marry me Cas." Dean said kissing his top lip and smiling as the water ran down his face. 

Cas's glanced up into his eyes "Dean. Whose going to marry us right now with the world like this?"

Dean thought for a minute and smiled shyly. "Chuck. Chuck can marry us."

"My father?" Cas looked away and thought for a second. "Yeah that would work. I was thinking of contacting him anyways to see if he had any idea how to stop this."

Dean smiled and kissed him softly. "So it's settled then?"

Cas smiled and and ran his fingers through Deans hair. "Yes. It's settled."

"Good." Dean bent down and kissed him. Despite everything that had gone wrong in the world, least this was one thing that felt right.


	6. "This is not your fault."

"Damn it Cas...I told you that was upside down." Dean said frustrated as he begin to unscrew the bolt that he had just screwed into the wood of the crib. 

Cas furrowed his eyebrows at Dean and then looked at the side of the crib he was holding for Dean to keep it steady. They were sitting cross legged on the floor putting it together and having a rough time doing so. "I don't get it. Why don't these things come put together already? You humans make everything complicated."

Dean rolled his eyes and flipped the back board of the crib over. "Yeah well. If it came like that, how would we get it to the house. Strap it to the top of the car?"

"Yes." Cas said seriously, his eyes still narrowed at Dean as Dean looked at him. He kind of chuckled at Cas and begin to screw the bolt in again. 

"You are so cute sometimes." His lips were turned up into a half grin as he said it and Cas smiled. 

"I don't mean to be. I suppose it's my angelic aura."

Dean smiled at him and shook his head. "Don't know what to do with you."

Almost an hour later the crib was put together and Cas put the sheets on and they stood back and smiled at their progress. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door behind them and they both turned to see who it was. Sam's head was peeked through the door way. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Dean said and Sam stepped in and stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

"Great work guys. It's perfect." He told them smiling at their work. 

"Thanks." Dean said. 

"So uh...I talked to Crowley. He's on his way. I shut down the warding so he'd be able to be in here."

Dean nodded and Cas furrowed his eyebrows. "Crowley finally called?"

"Yeah. According to him Rowena had a little trouble with the location spell. Like Jennifer put a wall up so no one could find her. But she worked through some loop holes and figured a way around it."

"Well well..." Crowley's voice appeared behind them and they all turned to see him standing there in the doorway. "Isn't this lovely. Three men and a baby." 

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just give us the location Crowley. Stop messing around."

"Ah yes. The location." He pulled a piece of paper out of the pocket of his coat between his two fingers. He handed it to Dean and smirked as he opened it to read the two letters written down. 

Dean looked up at Cas. "Atlanta, Georgia"

"Yes." Crowley said and pointed to the paper in Dean's hand. "Also my beloved mother said there is a way to lift the curse. Nothing can be undone but it will stop it from spreading."

"What is it?" Cas asked him. 

"She said the beads are another part of the hands of God. Who ever had them has to do seven steps in order to lift the curse in order to prove they're pure."

The three of them looked at each other and then Dean shrugged as he blinked a few times. "That's not so bad. What are the seven steps?"

"Mother is still looking into that. You still have to find this bitch and get the beads first."

Cas looked at Dean. "Maybe my father knows. I mean it is his creation."

"You're father is no where to be found right now. He hasn't answered your prayers lately or mine." Dean said and looked at Crowley. "How long will it take for her to find out the steps?"

"No telling. I suggest you get a hold of those beads quickly though. They're extremely powerful and in the hands of the wrong person can wipe out heaven and hell and all of what gods created."

"Oh I see." Dean licked his lips and stepped up closer to Crowley. "That's why you're helping us. You're afraid of hell being erased which means you'd be gone with it."

Crowley smirked at Dean. "Don't get so cocky squirrel. You'll disappear as well. All of Gods creation will be gone in the blink of an eye. So we're on the same side here."

"We'll never be on the same side." Dean said to him and Cas cleared his throat to get their attention. 

"Okay stop." Cas said. "No point of fighting right now. We have to figure this out. Sam..." he looked over at Sam. "I thought you said she dropped it into the water supply."

"That's what John told me." Sam told him and Crowley looked at Sam. 

"Oh she did." Crowley replied raising his eyebrows indefinitely. "She dipped them in the water supply. But she has them on her cause without them she will die. They gave her immortality but without them she's nothing."

"Well. Least we know more about it now and we have something to go off of." Dean said and looked at Crowley. "So what does your mother want? Why is she helping us?" 

"That I don't know you. You would have to ask her that yourself. She will probably pay you a visit soon. But you're right. She probably wants something in return. Just watch out for her. Oh and Atlanta fell a couple weeks ago so it's swimming with zombies. Good luck." 

The three of them looked at each other as Crowley disappeared and they were left standing in the room alone. 

Sam looked at Dean and shrugged. "Well I guess we're going to Atlanta."

"Yeah. I think we should head out as soon as possible." Cas said to them. 

"One of us has to stay with Abby." Dean told them. 

"I'll do it." John said from the doorway with his arms crossed against his chest. "I'm not much for the hunting game. I'm sure killing these things are easy for you cause you're used to killing things like this. I'm not. I should be the one to stay back."

Dean looked at Sam and Sam shrugged. "He's kinda right."

Dean hung his head thinking for a second, before he looked up at John. "Alright. We have a CBC radio down stairs. We'll be in contact with you. Checking in every couple hours. Make sure you're listening."

John nodded surely. "I got it."

Dean nodded and clapped his hands together. "Alright. Let's get ready."

Dean made his way to the closet and pulled out his duffle bag as Sam and John made their way out of the room. Cas walked up behind Dean and put his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder. "I wish one of these days we could just live a normal life together. You and me and Abby. Get a dog and a house."

Dean smiled as he glanced over his shoulder at him. "A house on the beach."

Cas smiled back at him. "Yeah. That would be perfect."

Dean turned in his arms to face him and cupped his face in his hands. "I love you so much Castiel. One day I promise you we will have that. And I've never broken my promises to you have I?"

Cas looked into his eyes. "No, you never have."

Dean smiled at him and kissed his forehead. "Go get packed my sweet boy. Also I'm digging my AC/DC shirts on you." He said, raising his eyebrows and commenting on the shirt Cas was wearing and admiring how sexy he looked to him in the jeans. He licked his lips seductively and grabbed his ass and squeezed it gently and Cas blushed and looked away. 

"You're something else Dean Winchester." He said and pushed him away playfully before going to pack his things. 

Dean watched him open up his drawer that he had claimed in Dean's room and pulled out a towel and unfolded it to reveal the shiny sharp bladed angel blade. "Sometimes I wish you weren't an angel anymore...when I'm dead...what are you going to do?"

Cas turned his head and looked at him seriously. "Then I'll meet you in heaven Dean. When we do get married, it's not gonna be until death do us apart. It's going to be from now and for eternity. You were sculpted by my father as the righteous man who I was meant to be with in earth and in heaven."

Dean smiled and gave a small chuckle. "How did I ever get so lucky? I'm so in love with you and I know I don't deserve you. I've done nothing in my life that I'm proud of to deserve you."

Cas turned toward him and cocked his head to the side as he furrowed his eyebrows at him. "How can you even say that? Do you know how many lives you've saved. You've made the world safer and continue to do so. You're a hero Dean."

Dean hung his head and didn't reply. Cas sighed as he looked at him. "I don't believe that I deserve you either. I've done nothing either that I'm proud of. I've rebelled against heaven, I've slaughtered many of my brothers and sisters. I've made stupid choices that I thought were right at the time that put you in danger or hurt you emotionally. But some how my father sees the good in both of us and wrote our destiny in the stars together." He walked up to Dean and put his arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the lips. "And I'm grateful he did. Because you make me happy. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Dean bent his head and kissed him again, covering his lips with his own. Dean placed his hand on the back of Cas's head and intertwined his fingers into the back of his hair as he tilted his head, giving Cas better access to his mouth. He pushed his tongue against his and moaned as he tasted him. 

The sound of Sam clearing his throat from the doorway made them lift their heads and look at him. Dean rolled his eyes. "What Sam?"

"Me and Jenny are ready. Are we going or do I have to give you guys a few minutes?"

Dean looked at Cas and caressed his cheek with his thumb. "Give us a minute."

Sam stepped away from the door frame and made his way into the library, leaving them alone. 

He sat next to Jenny who had just loaded her handgun and pulled the hammer back. 

He smiled at her. "You ready for this?" Sam asked her and she nodded. 

"More then ready. Zombies don't scare me. Humans do."

Sam chuckled. "Yeah. Me too. Which we might run into while we're there."

"I'm ready." She said putting her hair up in a pony tail and noticing Sam's green eyes gazing over her body. The brown tank top she wore over a pair of tight jeans and boots. She placed her arms on the table in front of her and smiled at him. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm sorry...I just...you're beautiful." His eyes were wondering over her body still and she blushed. 

"Sam. We need to focused." She said with her eyes widened smiling a playful smile at him. 

Sam smirked. "You're right. We do need to stay focused." He reached over and pulled her into his arms so that she was straddling him in the chair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her ass grinder against the growing erection that pushed for release against his jeans. "Where's your brother?"

"Upstairs with the baby." She smiled and he smiled back, leaned forward and kissed her. His hands roamed up and down her back and stopped to rest on her hips. She unbuckled his belt and touched him through the fabric of his briefs still kissing him slowly and passionately, their tongues possessively fighting against each other. 

Somehow their clothes ended up on the ground and they ended up in Sam's room making love. Slow and passionate sex had never been his thing, but he wanted to show her with every touch and thrust, how much he was beginning to love her. 

As always he let her come first, her climax shooting through her like a lightening, and she began to shake a tiny bit from it in his arms as she held on to his shoulder blades. Just the feel of her tightening around him was enough to send him over the edge. He let out a shirt gasp before thrusting his hips a few more times and releasing himself inside her. 

They laid there for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath and bring themselves down from the high. Sam rolled off of her and pulled her into his arms underneath the sheets. He nuzzled his nose into her hair and smiled. "I think I love you Jenny girl." He whispered against her ear. 

She looked into his eyes and smiled, caressing his cheek with her thumb. "I think I love you too Sammy."

"I don't understand why. I'm nothing special." Sam chuckled and she ran her fingers through his hair and traced his features, running them along his jawline and feeling the stubbles on his chin. 

"But you're special to me Sam." She smiled at him and he kissed her softly. 

"What if we don't come back from this?"  
He whispered as he looked into her eyes. 

"We will." She said quietly, memorizing every inch of his face. 

His eyes suddenly filled with sadness. "Be sad to know that after everything, we'd go out like this."

"We won't Sam. You're thinking the worst. Why?" She said furrowing her eyebrows at him. 

"I don't know. I guess cause the world is so dark right now. I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel."

It was understandable. Who would have thought the world would end like this? After everything sam had ever been through, this was the darkest and worst time. It wasn't just the undead now...it was the people trying to survive as well. Killing each other for whatever resources they needed. One man for himself. He could take drinking demon blood and fighting demons and monsters...but now the monsters controlled the world, and all because of one woman's evil selfish ways. And now they knew that even if they lifted the curse, the damage was already done and could not be lifted. 

She kissed him softly, even though she knew it probably wouldn't take the fear away of what was to come. 

The sound of the knock at the door and the door opening made them both jump and pull the covers over them. 

It was Cas. He glanced at them for just a second but then quickly looked away and turned around looked up at the ceiling trying to erase the image in his head. "Jesus Sam."

"What the hell Cas? Don't you know how to knock?"

"I did knock. The door was unlocked so...nevermind. Dean said before we leave...he wanted to get some more gas so he went on a gas run. He should be back shortly."

"You let him go alone?" Sam said sitting up in bed and grabbing his pants on the floor and pulling them on. Buckling his belt he glanced over at Cas waiting for the answer. 

"I uh...he's still outside. Said it was just a quick ten minute run. I mean you can go with him if you want. Unless you're busy and want to continue with...whatever it is you're doing."

Sam glared at him. "Really Castiel? You can turn around by the way." 

Cas slowly turned around to see a shirtless Sam but with jeans on at least, and Jenny clothed and putting on her boots on the edge of the bed. 

Sam shook his head as he threw his shirt over his head. "You shouldn't go to that gas station. And you shouldn't let him go off on his own."

"You know your brother Sam. He assured me he's gonna be fine."

"Yeah, he always says that, but Cas you know what Hanna said."

Cas glared at Sam. "It's a gas run Sam. I think he can handle it."

"There's Zombies everywhere Castiel! Especially if you guys are going back to the gas station we were at a couple days ago. There was more then a dozen coming through that clearing."

"I think he'll be fine." Cas said and Sam shook his head. 

"I'll go with him." Sam said and grabbed his jacket and rushed outside to meet up with Dean. Jenny looked up at Cas from the bed and Cas hung his head feeling guilty. 

"He's just being an over protective brother Castiel. Don't let it bother you."

"No. No he's right." Cas said quietly. "I wasn't thinking. I'm used to Dean being able to handle himself I...I guess I wasn't thinking clearly."

Jenny gave him a small smile and stood up from the bed. She walked up to him and put a hand on his cheek and Cas's eyes softened at her touch. "It's okay Cas. We all have a little getting used to the times being this dangerous."

"Yeah. Well. Dean faces dangerous everyday. I guess I'm just used to it."

She pressed her lips together and nodded slowly. "I know. Let's go into the kitchen and wait for them. I wanna hold Abby before we leave."

Cas gave her a small smile in return. "Me too."

\---

As Dean drove, one hand on the stirring wheel as he made his way down the winding road of Kansas, he looked over at his brother in the passenger seat. "Why do you look so pissed off?"

Sam looked out the window, a hint of anger in his eyes. "Nothing Dean. Don't worry about it."

"Whoa." Dean held up his free hand. "What's with the attitude?"

Sam looked over at Dean. "You were going to go get oil by yourself. And you persuaded Cas to let you?"

Dean furrowed his eyebrows in anger at him. "Yes. I'm a big boy. I hunt monsters for a living. I can handle a few freakin zombies." 

"Oh really? And what about what Hannah said to Cas? And then the fact that Cas let you!"

"Hey!" Dean said raising his voice at Sam and pointed at him. "Don't you ever talk about Cas like that. He knows once I have my mind up to do something or if I wanna go off alone I will. Do not blame him for me wanting to go off on this run alone. I'm a grown man Sam. I can make my own decisions."

"Yeah! Ones that can get you killed!!" Sammy raised his voice back at him. 

"I'm not arguing with you Sam. Drop it now. Or so help me I will turn this car around and take you back to the bunker and go alone for real." 

Dean took a deep breath and gripped the stirring wheel in anger. He didn't know what he was more angry at, Sam acting this way, or the fact he blamed Cas for putting him in danger. Whatever it was, the tension in the car was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

Sam stopped talking and looked out the window again until Dean leaned forward in the drivers seat looking at something in front of them in the road. "What the fuck?"

Sam turned and looked in front of them and saw what Dean was looking at. Three men on motorcycles blocking the road. "Just keep going." Sam insisted but Dean slowed the car down. 

"I want to see what they want." He recognized one of them from Negans camp and he was curious what the douche bag wanted now. 

The guy, whose name was Simon Dean remembered, walked up to the drivers side of the car and Dean rolled down the window. "What can I do for you boys?" Dean asked him and 

"Nice ride." Simon said with a smirk and Dean grinned in pride and was about to thank him but Simon was quick to withdrawal a hand gun and press it to the side of Dean's temple. "Get out of the car."

Dean put both his hands up in surrender. "Whoa okay. No need to get aggressive boys." He said as he gently opened the car door and slowly stepped out on to the gravel of the street. His boots made a crunch as they stepped onto the road and Simon grabbed a hold of Dean's sleeve and tightened his hold on the fabric of his jacket and shoved him against the car so his back was pressed against the car. One of the other boys was retrieving Sam from the passenger side as Simon pressed the gun underneath Dean's chin and pulled the hammer back. 

"You owe Negan a Debt." Simon said as his face was so close to Dean's he could smell the cigarettes on his breath. 

"And we're working on it." Dean told him. 

"Well. We're gonna take this car here back to Negan. Ya know? For insurance." Simon said with a smirk on his face. 

He didn't know but Dean was slipping a pocket knife from underneath his sleeve as he spoke. Dean looked at him and held his gaze for a second before he jammed the knife into Simons side and watched his face grimace in pain before he collapsed to the ground. 

Three of the other boys started to run toward Dean and as one of them pulled a gun at Dean, he threw his arm out and knocked it out of his hand. Then reaching underneath his arms he put him in a headlock with the knife pointed underneath his chin. The other two stared at him, guns drawn, not sure what move to make next. 

"Drop the guns." Dean said sternly and they dropped their weapons in front of him and put their hands up as the sound of the impala's beautiful engine started up. Dean looked over to see Simon through the front windshield staring right back at him. He had a gun pointed at Sam in the passenger seat. Sam stared back at Dean with fear in his eyes and Simon smirked at him as he pulled the car in reverse with one hand, turned it around, and drove off. 

"Son of a bitch." Dean said tightening his grip on the guy he was holding, but the guy somehow managed and kicked his legs out from under him. Dean fell backwards, landing on his back hitting the ground hard. He grunted as the guys started rummaging for their weapons in the ground. 

Dean threw himself to his feet and jammed the knife into the one in front of him and pulled up with it. The guy gurgled and and chocked on his own blood as he looked at Dean. He quickly withdrew the knife and swung it at the other mans neck. Without thinking and reacting quickly he withdrew the knife and jammed it into the last ones neck and twisted it as hard as he could. Blood squirted out from the wound as Dean withdrew the knife and the man collapsed to the ground. 

It all happened so fast he didn't have time to think. He looked around at the three men that lay dead on the ground at his feet and tried to catch his breath. His heart still rapidly beating against his chest. He looked at his hands which were covered in blood and they were trembling from the adrenalin that rushed through his body. He looked up at the trees around him, swaying softly in the gentle breeze, and then slowly turned and started walking down the dirt road, knife in hand held at his side, and made his way back to the bunker 

\---

Cas jumped up out of chair as Dean walked in the front door. Cas watched as he made his way down the stairs. His eyes widened as he saw Dean's bloody clothes and his blood stained hands. "Dean!" He rushed to him and stopped short when Dean pushed past him walking toward his room. Cas turned around to face him again as he walked away from him. "Dean what happened to you?"

"Nothing I'm fine." He said as he kept walking away from him and Cas slowly started following him toward their rolls. 

"No Dean you are not. You have blood everywhere." He said through gritted teeth, angry at his stubbornness. 

Dean stopped and turned toward him. "Look, Cas its fine." 

"No it's not. You're hurt and I wasn't there to help you." Cas's eyes became soft and Dean's heart melted at the look of love and concern he had in his blue eyes. He slowly walked toward him with the same gentleness of love Cas showed in his eyes. 

"Look Cas I'm not hurt okay?" He said softly to him and reached out to cup his face in his hands. Cas searched his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. "This is not my blood. I just killed three people. People. Not zombies. I just feel a little numb right now is all." He caressed his cheeks with his thumbs as he held his head in his hands. 

Cas could tell by the look in his eyes that he was carrying a ton of guilt. "I'm sure whatever happened, it was justified Dean. You had to kill them. This is not your fault."

Dean hung his head and lowered his hands from Cas's face. "They got Sam. And baby."

"You walked back here?" Cas furrowed his eyebrows. "Who got Sam?"

"Negans boys." He searched Cas's eyes and Cas could see the tears laying in them. "Cas...I think there's gonna be a war."

That was the last thing he said to him before he pushed past him to change clothes and wash off the blood. 

Later that night Cas shifted under the covers and expected to feel the weight of Dean's arms and legs wrapped around him, but when he opened his eyes Dean was not next to him and sheets were cold and wrinkled where he had been laying. 

He got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom and padded across the bunker to see a soft light coming from the library and he knew right then Dean wasn't going to sleep until his brother was found and safe. But he also knew he had a long journey ahead of him the next day and he needed his sleep and strength to make it. 

Dean was in his bathrobe sitting at the library table, his hand gently rested around the glass of whiskey in front of him. He was staring and looked so lost and broken. 

Cas walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, folding his hands against Dean's chest and kissing his head. "We'll find him Dean. I promise."

Dean sighed and looked down at the glass of whiskey he held as he traced the rim of it with his finger. "I know. I just can't sleep until he is found."

"Baby you need your rest. We have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow." His voice was gruff and he began to leave light feathery kisses down his neck. Dean closed his eyes and at the feeling of Cas's soft lips against his skin. 

"I'm...im not really in the mood right now babe." He said stuttering but he couldn't help the feeling of electricity shooting through his body. 

"Might help you sleep." Cas said softly against his ear and then slightly nibbled at his earlobe with his teeth. 

"God Cas." Dean breathed out, and instantly felt himself getting aroused. Cas ran his hands down under the collar of his shirt, feeling the softness of his skin and Dean moaned under Cas's touch. 

Dean tilted his head and leaned to the side a bit to kiss Cas, parting his lips, allowing Cas to slowly press his tongue against his own and then slowly close his lips around his top one. Their lips made a satisfying sound as they kissed gently, their lips hovering over and over each other. Dean stood up and cupped Cas's cheek with one hand and tilted his head, opening his mouth, allowing Cas better entrance to his, kissing him more passionately and possessively, pressing his tongue against his again, tasting him, loving him. 

Dean lifted Cas up so his legs were wrapped around his waist and spun him around. Surprisingly he was not heavy at all or maybe it was just that dean had strong arms. Cas put his head back and could feel Dean's breath on his neck as he leaned forward to kiss his throat and then run his bottom lip up his neck and chin, brushing it against his bottom lip, teasing him. When Cas lifted his head back up he attached his top lip softly to Dean's. 

He sat Cas down slowly as Cas pushed his robe back over his shoulders, leaving him shirtless and just in his pajama pants. Dean felt Cas fingers run gently up from the small of his back and to his shoulder blades before pulling him in for another deep kiss. Dean reached down and squeezed Cas's ass gently, pulling his leg up a little over his waist but then placing it back down. 

Cas thought he'd go crazy feeling Dean's hands all over him like that. He stood back a little and ran his fingers up and down gently on Dean hard rock stomach, feeling his skin, touching him, feeling him beneath his touch. Dean leaned forward and pulled Cas's shirt up over his head as Cas smiled up at him, biting his bottom lip as he looked into Dean's Forrest green eyes. Dean smiled back and kissed him again gently, his arms wrapped around his waist as if they were dancing, slowly swaying them both back and forth, staring into eachother eyes every time they broke away from the kiss. 

Dean lowered his head to Cas's neck leaving open mouth kisses along his throat as he brushed a hand up across Cas's growing erection. Cas threw his head back and moaned, running his fingers through the back of Dean's hair as Dean buried his face in his neck. Dean sucked on his neck as Cas lifted his head up and buried his face in his shoulder, his hand still gripping on to the back of Dean's hair. 

Dean cupped Cas's head in both his hands and kissed him passionately, his lips coming down on his over and over before lifting him up off his feet and slowly sitting him on the library table, lowering himself on top of him between his legs, as Cas wrapped his arms around his neck pulling him closer. A few minutes later shouts of pleasure and joy filled the room, as their bodies came crashing together as one.


	7. Chapter Seven

Dean and Cas emerged from their room around six in the morning, both holding shotguns at ready but on safety for now. Dean had got a few hours of sleep after they had made love and Cas held him in their bed a few minutes afterwards. 

Dean had his duffle bag slung over his shoulder full of guns and whatever weapons they needed. He threw the strap off his shoulder and placed the bag and the gun on the library table in front of Jenny who sat there looking distraught and lost. He had just told her the news that morning and she was not doing well. 

Cas ran a hand across Dean's back as he walked up behind him and leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. "I'll meet you out front."

He nodded and continued unzipping the bag and placing a few more hidden guns he had into it. Even a few grenades from a secret spot in one of the desk drawers.  He looked up at Jenny who hadn't said a word all morning. "We'll find him Jenny.  We've been through a lot worse then this. We'll find him." He said as he zipped up the bag and gently wrapped his hand around her forearm, lifting her to her feet. He wrapped her in a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. "But I need you to be strong okay. We're going to face a lot of danger out there and I need you to stay focused. Okay? For Sam."

She took a deep breath and let go of him, looking into his eyes. "Okay. For Sam." 

Dean smiled at her. "Good girl. Now go get your stuff."

She nodded and walked past him to retrieve it from her room. Dean sighed and grabbed his bag off the table and grabbed the shot gun he placed on the table, making his way out the front door. 

They headed out on foot, guns in hand but lowered as they made their way down the dusty road toward Georgia. They knew it would be probably a two week trip. And they packed canned food and water and decided they would try to hunt as well on the way. 

It has been a couple days on the road. They rested every now and then, one always keeping watch. One night as Jenny slept inside the tent and Dean tried to sleep, outside in the grass, his head rested on Cas's rolled up trench coat, Dean's eyes snapped open to the sound of helicopters above them. He sat straight up and Cas sitting in front of him Indian style with his gun rested across his lap, turned to look at him. "What's wrong?" He asked him but then he heard it. He looked up and watched the helicopters fly past them, the loud engine noise roaring over the empty woods. 

Cas and Dean got to their feet and followed them a little into the woods, to see where they were heading too. Then they stopped as they saw them flying over the city of Springfield and shooting missiles into the streets. Dean covered his mouth with his hand. "Oh my God." He said out loud. It was like now it was becoming a reality for him. He had been shut out from it all inside the bunker but now as he watched the city of Springfield Missouri  light up like the Fourth of July, it all became too real for him. 

Cas stood behind him watching the view as he swallowed hard. He knew at that moment that millions of people, even survivors, were now dead. 

Foot steps were heard behind them and Cas and Dean turned quickly, handguns at ready, but lowered them when they saw it was Jenny. Cas let out a sigh of relief. "Don't do that." He growled at her. "We thought you were a zombie."

"What is that noise and that bright light? It's not lightening." She said still groggy from sleep until she looked up and saw what they saw. Big puffs of fire balled explosions going off inside the city and she gasped at the sight. "No. Dean." She said out loud, her voice shaking in fear. 

Dean looked over at her and saw she was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't even find the words.  "Come here." He said and quickly took her in his arms and held her against him, as she cried into his chest. 

They all knew now that the world would never be the same. And Dean didn't know why, but there was a sense of feeling alone in the world. It really was one man out for himself now, and he would fight for his family, and only his family as of that moment.

A week past and they finally made their way into Georgia, tired and exhausted. The boys hadn't shaved in two weeks and Jenny's face was smeared with dirt and dried blood from something she didn't remember doing. 

As they walked, the Georgia heat bearing down on them, they spotted a farm house on the side of the road that was not abandoned. Dean held up his hand letting Cas and Jenny know to stop. They had been on the road for two weeks non stop. He knew they needed to stop somewhere and rest, at least for the night. As he started to cross the grass leading up to the farm a house a middle aged man in a sheriffs shirt and a much older man with a white beard were standing on the porch talking until they both turned their heads and saw him approaching. 

The younger one ran down the stairs, withdrawing a gun out a holster he had around his waist and pointed it at him. "Put your hands up!" The man screamed at him. 

Dean stopped in his tracks and put his hands up. "Whoa whoa. I didn't come here to hurt anyone." Dean called out to him. "Look look." He placed his shot gun on the ground in front of him and then raised his arms again in the air to show he didn't want to cause any harm. 

Cas and Jenny slowly put their weapons and bags down as well and put their hands up. The mans eyes switched from them to Dean and then lowered his weapon to his side. "What are you here for then?"

"I'm searching for my brother. We've been on the road for two weeks from Kansas. He was taken along with my car. I'm just trying to get to him and we need a place to stay for the night."

The man furrowed his eyebrows at him and tapped his gun against his thigh. Dean could tell he didn't trust them, and he didn't blame him. 

"You said your brother was taken?"

"Yeah by a group of people. It's long story man. All I'm asking is just a place to stay for the night and if you want I'll explain everything to you."

The man hung his head and bit his bottom lip, trying to decide if he should risk letting them stay. Dean watched him and suddenly his eyes fell to the uniform shirt the man was wearing. It was covered in blood. He didn't didn't wanna ask whose or what's blood it was but he could see that this man had already been through a lot. 

"Well it's not my place. It's actually this mans right here." He pointed to the older man still standing on the porch behind him, watching them. "Let me ask him. We don't just let strangers in this place."

Dean gave him a small smile. "No I understand. Completely. I wouldn't either. I don't even know if I trust you, but you seem like a decent man."

The mans eyes softened at Dean as if they connected for a second. He put his hand out. "I'm Rick Grimes."

Dean took it and shook it firmly. "Dean."

Rick searched his eyes as they shook hands and when he let go he pointed to the older man behind him again. "This man here is Hershel." 

Rick turned and started back toward the house and Dean followed him up the stairs of the porch until they were standing in front of Hershel. "This man is looking for his brother. He needs a place to stay for the night."

Dean gave the man a small smile. "Just for the night. We've been walking for two weeks and we haven't had a decent shower. I'm sure we stink like shit. I promise we'll leave by tomorrow morning."

The mans eyes glanced over him for a second and he looked at Rick. "You trust this man?"

"I don't trust anyone. You know that. But he's looking for his brother. And if he tries anything..." he glanced back at Dean. "I'll be the one to personally take him down."

"Well that's gratifying." Dean said sarcastically but they both looked at him seriously and Dean's smile faded almost immediately. 

"Okay. You can stay." Hershel said and Dean reached down and took his hand and shook it. 

"Thank you so much. I promise we won't be trouble. We won't even be in your way."

Hershel nodded. "Rick here will show you to your rooms. Get washed up. You are right. You smell like shit." 

Rick kinda chuckled and Dean did too. "Thanks." Dean said and waved his arm to Cas and Jenny motioning for them to come up. 

Rick put a hand out to both of them as they were coming up the stairs. "Weapons stay with us." He looked at Dean. "You understand?"

"Absolutely." Dean said and handed him his shot gun. Cas and Jenny handed their weapons to Hershel.  

"You can have them back when you leave. Or if you decide to go out on a run tonight for yourself you can have them."

Dean nodded understandably. "Thank you."

They made their way inside the house and followed Rick down the long hallway. "There's only one room available. I'll sleep on the couch so I can keep watch. So two of you can share a room." 

They stopped in front of one of the bedroom and Dean smiled and kinda chuckled. 

"That's fine. Cause we're kinda..." he pointed to Cas and then back at him and raised his eyebrows with a smirk tugging on his lips. 

Ricks eyes widened in surprise and he pointed to the both of them. "Oh you two are uh..."

Dean nodded and Cas sighed. "We're together yes."

Rick nodded and opened the bedroom door. "Well then it works out then. This will be your guys room. Get washed up and I'll take your friend here to hers."

Dean and Cas stepped in and Rick closed the door behind them.  Cas looked at Dean and slowly took his trench coat off. "He seems nice."

Dean's raised his eyebrows and his eyes glanced over Cas and up to his lips. He licked his own lips and looked away. "Yeah he seems like a good guy."

Cas threw his coat on the bed and started to unbutton his used to be white t shirt. Dean smirked as he watched him and Cas looked up at him. "Dean...no"

"What?" Dean smiled at him and stepped up to him. 

"Not at someone else's house." Dean cupped his hand around the back of Cas's head and kissed his neck. Cas giggled and smacked him playfully away. "Stop Dean." 

Dean smiled at him and kissed his lips gently. "I'm sorry. I just missed your kiss. I haven't kissed these lips in two weeks."

Cas blushed and continued to take his shirt off from between them. It was funny how Dean Winchester could still make him blush after all the years he'd known him. 

Dean slowly helped him take his shirt off, pushing it over his shoulders as he kissed him softly. He pushed him on the bed and Cas laughed as he jumped on top of him and began to kiss down his neck and down his stomach. Cas moaned and threw his head back on the bed as he felt Dean's lips finding the tip of his dick. What started as something playful turned into a fiery passion of love. 

They made love slowly, the satisfying soft sound of the headboard hitting the wall sitting their rhythm. They switched positions at least five times, tangled in a heat of passion and a kiss. Dean pulling him on top of him and letting him control whatever he wanted, Dean's fingers tracing his body and softly running up and down his back. Cas almost felt like he was about to faint from the smell of sex and Dean's skin. Cas picked up the pace, grinding against him before they came to a satisfying climax together and Cas collapsed on top of his chest. 

Dean kissed his head and traced his fingers down the back of his neck.  "I love you Castiel." He whispered but Cas had already fallen asleep. So he continued to run his fingers through his hair until he fell asleep too, with Cas laying on top of him against his chest.

When Dean woke up it was dark and Cas was sound asleep curled up into his side, his nose buried into Dean's neck and his arms draped across Dean's chest. He slowly got up and took a shower and then pulled on some sweat pants and a white t shirt over them. 

He padded out of the bedroom and closed the door softly behind him and made his way into the kitchen. Rick was sitting at the counter peeling corn and he looked up at Dean when he walked in. 

"Good morning sunshine." Rick said throwing some of the peels in the trash next to him. 

"Is it morning? Did I really sleep that long?" His eyes widened and Rick chuckled. 

"No. It's only eight o clock." He said looking at his watch. "You're just in time to help with dinner."

Dean gave him a small smile and sat next to him at the counter and immediately started helping him peel the corn. "Thanks for letting us stay. I get that you have a hard time trusting anyone...with the way the world is now."

Rick looked over at him and studied his face. "It's not a problem. So what happened to your brother?"

Dean sighed as he stared down at the corn. "My boyfriend got taken by this group of people here in Georgia. He somehow talked him out of keeping him if we made a deal with him to help find who started this whole zombie apocalypse thing in the first place...and I guess one of them came by and said I owed them insurance until I can give him what he wants."

Rick narrowed his eyebrows at him. "You know there's no stopping this right?"

Dean looked at Rick and stopped what he was doing. "I want to tell you everything Rick. But you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

Rick searched his eyes and then went back to peeling the corn. "You can tell me after dinner over a beer."

Dean nodded slowly and continued what he was doing. 

When dinner was done Cas and Jenny had just woken up and Hershel and his daughter Maggie sat the table. Dean saw a woman come into the kitchen and Rick gave her a quick kiss before walking around her to grab plates. Dean smiled at the sight and figured it was his wife. 

As they were about to sit down another man walked in through the screen door and stopped as he saw Dean and Cas. He looked up at Rick and a look of anger crossed his face. "Who the hell is this?"

"They're guest Shane. They needed a place to stay for the night. And we agreed on it." Rick said sternly. 

"Oh I'm glad shit gets passed to me."

"You're not in the right place of mind to make decisions right now." Rick spat as he glared at him. 

"Oh I'm not." He spat sarcastically.  "Obviously you're not. Letting strangers into the house to stay. What the hell is wrong with you Rick?" He raised his voice and Dean wiped his mouth with his napkin after chewing the bit of steak he had taken a bite off. He felt awkward and he looked over at Jenny who looked back at him feeling awkward as well. 

"I know what I'm doing. We know what we're doing." Rick said to him. "Now you can either sit down and join us for dinner or you can leave."

Shane shook his head. "You've lost your mind. You should have killed them the minute they stepped on the property."

"Shane, we don't just go around shooting people for no reason."

"Yes we do. Cause that's what this world has come to now. One man for himself."

"There has to be a line to be drawn. There still has to be some humanity left in us."

"You're an idiot." Shane said and walked out the door, slamming the screen door behind him and Rick sighed and looked at Dean as he stared up at him. 

"I'm sorry about him." He said sitting down and placing a napkin on his lap. "He's a little...not mentally stable right now."

"I don't think any of us are right now." Dean said a small smile tugging at his lips. 

They began to eat and Rick nodded. "Right. But he's uh...it's to the point I'm actually kind of scared of him right now. He's my best friend and all the years I've known him I've never seen the look he had in his eyes recently. Like he wouldn't hesitate to kill me."

Dean swallowed the food he had been chewing and pointed at Rick with his fork. "That's when you be on your feet and kill him before he kills you. If that moment ever happens."

Rick looked at Dean and stared for a second before taking a bite of his steak. "You know you remind me of myself?" 

"Really? Why is that?" Dean said chuckling a bit. 

"Because I would have said the same thing." He digging into the salad on his plate. 

"My brother said the same thing to me the other day when we passed some people begging for help as we drove. That there had to be a line to be drawn. That we should have pulled over and helped him. And at first I had your friends point of view on it. But now..." he looked down and shook his head. "What do we had left if we don't have a tiny bit of  humanity left in us."

"Dean..." Rick said and Dean looked up at him. "I would have passed them up too. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"So you're saying don't help people?"

"No I'm saying, protect yourself first. You had no idea who they were or what they were capable of. I only let you in here cause I could look in your eyes and see the eyes of a man whose been through as much hell as I've been through. I sometimes have pretty good judgement.  But pulling over like that is dangerous. You made the right choice."

Dean nodded. "Thanks."

Cas slowly got up from the table and pushed his chair back. Dean looked up at him and put a hand the small of his back. "Baby. What's wrong?"

"I'm not feeling well." He said and looked at Rick. "Thanks for the dinner. It was delicious. But I think I'm gonna go lay down now."

Rick nodded. "It was my pleasure. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be okay." He said and started toward the bedroom down the hall and Dean watched him stumble and try to hold on to the wall but then he collapsed to the floor. 

"Cas!" He immediately got up from the table and ran to his side. Rick and Hershel followed as Dean cupped Cas's face in his hands. "Cas!"

Cas looked at him, sweat bearing his forehead and he looked pale. "I'm fine."

"Was he bit?" Rick asked him. 

"No." Dean looked up at Rick, sweating himself from fear. 

"How do you know?" Rick asked him. 

He didn't want to tell him he was an angel. He wouldn't believe him. So he thought of the next best thing. "When we got here we kinda..."

Rick held a hand up knowingly. "Okay okay. No details. Let's just get him in the room."

Dean picked up Cas bridal style and carried him into the room that Rick gave him.  He laid him gently on the bed and automatically noticed how much he was sweating. He set up half way and turned as he started coughing profusely. 

"Cas, what is happening?" Dean asked him in a  panic. 

"I'm gonna go get a cold towel. He might have a fever." Hersel said left the room quickly as Dean pulled Cas's shirt over his head, his eyes filled with concern and confusion. 

Rick looked him over, still concerned he could have been bit, but there were no marks on his body. 

Cas laid back down on his back and looked up at Dean, struggling to breathe as he licked his dry lips. "I think...I think he gave me someone else's grace."

Rick furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and Dean glanced up at him and back down at Cas. "Why would he do that? And whose would he have ?"

"I don't know. I don't feel right Dean. I haven't felt right. I just haven't said anything. I haven't felt like myself. I think...I think I'm dying."

Dean took his hand and squeezed it. "No. No you're not.  Just give me some time okay. Give me some time to get your grace back. Hold on for me."

"I don't know how long I have Dean..." Cas said grimacing in pain. 

Dean looked away and swallowed hard before he looked up at Rick. "I have to go now. But I'll need a moving car."

Rick stared back at him with his arms folded. "I'm really confused as to what is going on here."

Dean stepped up to him. "I know Rick. I know. And I'll explain everything when I get back. But he's dying and I need a car. Now."

Rick searched Dean's eyes and noticed the shake in his voice and the tears that were beginning to wail up as his eyes glistened. 

He lowered his arms and motioned for him to follow him. Hershel passed them at the doorway with the cold towel and tended to Cas's fever as they left he bedroom. 

As they stepped outside, Dean followed rick and outside as they walked up to a beaten down old red and white truck. He reached into his shirt pocket and handed him the keys. "Take her. Find your brother and bring back Cas whatever he needs to be okay."

Dean put a hand on Ricks shoulder and squeezed it. "Thank you Rick. This means a lot."

"I know. Just come back in one piece please."

"I'll make sure he does." Jenny said as she walked out of the house and up to the car. "I'm coming with you."

Dean's eyes filled with tears again and gave her a small nod as he lowered his hand from Ricks shoulder. She threw him his shot gun and got in the truck. Dean gave Rick one last look of thanks as he got in the truck and closed the door and started the truck, backed out and drove off on the dusty road. 

It didn't take more then hour before they pulled up in front of Negan's little community and they recognized him. Dean gripped the stirring wheel as he stared at the door in front of him. He was gripping it so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Jenny noticed it and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay." She said softly and he glanced at her wanting deep down to believe that, but he didn't know if he did. 

Dean and Jenny stepped out of the car but instead of letting them in, they opened the wooden doors and Negan stepped out, bat at his side and wearing that stupid smile he hated. "Well well well. I've been expecting you."

Dean raised his handgun and pointed it at Negan, aiming straight for his head. "Where's my brother?"

"He's safe." He smirked. "In fact he's become quite an asset to my community."

Dean pulled the hammer back. "Show him to me you son of a bitch."

"Now if you would lower your weapon we could talk like adults. I mean we are related...right?" He stepped up to Dean unafraid of the threat the gun posted to him. "Lower the gun Dean."

"Not until I see my brother is safe and okay." Dean said sternly "And I want Cas's actual grace. Not some friggin hand me down."

Negan narrowed his eyebrows at him. "How did you find out about that?"

Dean glared at him. "Come on. You can't be that stupid. You can't give him someone else's grace without it burning out, and I think you knew that."

"Is his candle going out?"

Dean's eyes fell but he kept the gun pointed stead at Negan and Negan smiled.  "It is isn't it? You've come here to save your boyfriend, not to save your brother."

"Both." Dean tightened his grip on the gun as he glanced back up at him. "Now let me see him."

"Go get Sam." Negan said to Simon behind him as he kept his eyes on Dean. "Tell him he has a visitor."

Sam appeared a few minutes later with Simon and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw Dean. "Dean." 

"Sammy." Dean said and lowered the gun and ran to him, throwing his arms around his brother, almost knocking him to the ground. Dean let him go and cupped his head in one hand tightly, gently gripping it. "You're alive."

He nodded with a small smile and slight tears in his eyes and looked over at Jenny who stood behind Dean. He pulled her in his arms and held her tightly and Negan rolled his eyes. "Well isn't this one hell of a reunion." 

Sam let go of Jenny and looked at Dean. "I've been helping Negan keep guard of this place at night."

"You're helping this son of a bitch." He said to him.

"Dean, he's our uncle. He wouldn't hurt me."

"Family doesn't start with blood Sam. And it definitely doesn't start here. We thought you were as good as dead. You couldn't come home and at least let us know you were okay. You've been here two weeks. We've traveled on foot for two weeks to get here. I almost lost Cas. Jenny almost got bit by one of those things."

Sam could see the pain in his eyes and he almost felt guilty, but he pointed to Negan. "Dean I'm sorry. But I'm fine. Negan's been actually taking good care of me."

"But he wouldn't let you come home to let me know you were okay? And it's okay that one of his men had a gun pointed to your head? That they almost killed me? He was going to kill you Sammy! Do you think Negan would care?"

"We thought for sure you were dead Sam." Jenny said and shook her head as she looked at him. "I had little hope I'd ever see you again. But yet your here and you're okay and you're acting like it doesn't matter."

Sam swallowed hard and Dean turned and looked at Negan with a scowl on his face.  "I want Cas's grace. Now."

"I'm holding it for insurance." Negan said to him. "If you take your brother back."

Dean walked up to him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I hold on to one or the other. I need to make sure you hold out on your end of the deal and bring me Jennifer."

Dean looked at Sam as Sam hung his head. "You don't care either way do you?"

Sam looked at Dean and Jenny and shook his head. "Take the grace back to Cas Dean. I'm fine here."

Jenny looked at Sam and her eyes filled with tears. "You're serious?"

Sam nodded sadly. "Baby, I'll be back soon. I promise. Just find Jennifer okay?"

Jenny gritted her teeth through her tears. "God damn you Sam." She said walked back to the truck and got in. Dean hung his head and tightened the grip on the gun in his hand. He shook his head and licked his lips. He raised his head to look back up at Negan. "Give me the grace and I want my car back. I'll bring you Jennifer."

Negan smirked "fine." 

Negan disappeared into the community and Dean pushed past Sam and followed him. Sam hung his head and squinted his eyes in the sun as he glanced up at Jenny waiting in the truck. She didn't even look at him and he could see the hurt and pain in her face. He walked up to the truck and leaned in to the window which was rolled down. He frowned and reached in and slowly caressed her cheek with his finger gently. "I'm sorry. I love you. Just believe me when I say there is a reason I'm going this. Okay?"

She turned to look at him, her expression filled with anger. "What are you saying? You're working on something on your own?"

"I can't talk about it. Don't tell Dean okay?"

"You're kidding me right?  Dean is your brother?"

"You can't tell him this. It will put him and Cas in danger. Please. Just trust me."

His eyes were pleading and sad. Jenny lowered her eyes and then nodded slowly. "Fine. You need to come home safe to me though. Understand."

"I will. I promise." He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. 

Dean stood with Negan as he rummaged through his book case and pulled out a book and opened it. He lifted Cas's grace out of it and handed it to Dean and then held up the keys to impala. Dean snatched them from his hand. "You're precious car is outside."

Dean nodded and jabbed a finger at him. "You hurt my brother and I swear to God I will kill you.  Do you understand?"

Negan smirked and searched his eyes with his. "I don't think you understand what I'm capable of. I will take away everyone you've ever loved. Including that precious angel of yours. Don't make me Dean."

"Well I guess it will be a war then. I don't play kindly to threats. Especially when it has to do with Cas. So try me."

"Don't over step your boundaries dean." His lips curled into an almost evil smile as he spoke but Dean wasn't afraid. 

"I wouldn't pass yours if I was you. You may have Sam brain washed because you're out so called uncle. But you don't have me and you never will. I can see right through you." Dean glared at him and pushed past him. He could feel Negan's eyes boring into the back of his skull. 

He rushed outside and got into the impala parked outside. He started the car and backed out and drove to the front of the community. He slowed the car next to the truck and rolled down the window and motioned for Sam to come closer. 

Sam walked over and leaned into the window close to Dean but Dean kept his head straight looking ahead. "You feel in any danger, you get out of there you understand?"

There was a silence for a moment before Sam nodded and Dean motioned his head to Jenny to follow him and he drove off. Jenny gave Sam one last look and shook her head before she drove off too following Dean, leaving Sam standing their staring down the empty road long after they disappeared. 

They pulled into Ricks place a few minutes late and Dean rushed out of the car and ran into the house and down the hall. Rick jumped up from the table when he saw him but didn't run after him. 

Dean rushed to Cas's side and loosened the cap off the grace. Cas looked dead but he wasn't. He was drenched in sweat and his eyes were swollen and red. He lifted Cas's head slowly off the pillow and let him soak in his grace. But Cas wasn't awake. The grace just slowly found its way between Cas's' lips and into his system. After the effects Dean waited for him to wake up holding his face between his hands. He kept giving him small kisses over his eyebrows, his eyelids, his cheeks, a small portion of him wanting that to be enough to make him open his eyes. 

"Cas wake up please. Please don't leave me Cas." He whispered pressing his forehead to his. Slowly Cas began to open his eyes and conscienceless pulled at him. He looked up at Dean's face and Dean gave a sigh of relief and held his body close to his chest. "You knew that wasn't your grace. I know you did. You just wanted to get back to me. You took the wrong grade to get back to me. To find me. Didn't you?"

Cas lifted his head to look up at Dean. "Of course I did. I love you." He whispered and a small smile tugged at Dean's lips as he bent his head and attached them to Cas's in a hard passionate kiss. He then held his head to look him in the eyes 

"Don't ever do that again." Dean said and ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't lose you."

"Okay Dean." Cas said in a croak and Dean pulled him into his arms again and held him. He didn't know how long he held him like that but it didn't matter. What mattered was that Cas was alive and well in his arms. 

He let Cas rest while he went outside and sat out on the porch. The crickets chirped and it was well after midnight by then. Rick stepped out from the screen door and sat next to him, handing him a beer. Dean looked up and gave him a look of thanks as he gratefully took it and took a satisfying swig. He needed it after the night he had. 

Rick cleared his throat and took a sip himself before he spoke. "So...you going to explain all this to me?"

Dean thought about not explaining it. It was a lot, and a lot of it sounded like a damn fairy tale. He sighed and looked out into the night and at the Forrest that surrounded the beautiful farm. "Cas is an angel."

Rick narrowed his eyes and stared hard at him. "I'm sorry, What?"

"I told you probably won't believe me..." Dean said and took another drink of his beer. 

Rick stared at Dean and then looked up at the Forrest as well. In a way they were keeping a look out for the safety of their families, and in another way enjoying the nice cool night air. "I uh...I just don't believe in God."

Dean looked at Rick and gave him a small smile. "He exist. I've personally met him."

Ricks eyes widened and he chuckled in shock. "Wait. You've met God? Personally?"

Dean nodded slowly and Rick looked away. "Okay. Now I think you're losing it."

Dean laughed. "Yeah sometimes I think so too. But no this is real. I'm a hunter. I used to hunt demons and things that you didn't think existed. Myths and creatures that you thought were just stories. Me and my brother died numerous of times and have been brought right back by certain supernatural ways. I've been to hell...and Cas he...he pulled me out." He lifted his sleeve to reveal the hand print that was still embedded into his forearm and Ricks eyes widened shocked. 

"How the...hell." He said tracing the swollen red skin with his fingers and Dean shrugged. 

"It doesn't hurt. It did when I first noticed it. It burned like shit. At first I thought some demon did it. And I searched for that son of a bitch for weeks and believe me...I didn't believe in God either. I didn't believe in angels. I didn't believe that there was anything good left in this world...until I met him. At first, I was angry at him. He was a dick. As most angels are only doing what he was told. What God told him to do. Or what he thought was right. That's Cas. Always trying to do what's right. And ya know sometimes it's not. Thats Cas. But then he rebelled and sacrificed and died and bled and given up everything for me. Multiple times. Over and over again. He was the best friend I ever had. And that's how i fell in love with him. I don't know if you'd call me gay or whatever. Angels don't really have a gender. All I know is I've never been more in love with anyone in my whole life."

Dean didn't know if it was just the moonlight shading across Ricks eyes but he thought he saw tears. 

"I wish I could believe you. But after this all happened, and all I've seen, I don't think God could ever allow something like this." Rick shook his head. 

Dean smiled and looked down. It was completely understandable. He knew he wouldn't believe him but at least he planted a seed of hope that there was a God and things would eventually be alright. He looked up at him and smiled. "Think of it as a romantic bedtime story then."

Rick nodded and watched Dean take a sip of his beer. "So...what happened with your brother?" Rick asked. "I thought for sure you'd bring him back with you."

"I don't want to talk about it." He said his voice rough and he looked away.  Rick respected that and respected him in a way he didn't understand. They'd only known each other for a day but for some reason they'd become best friends in such a short time. He put a hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed it. Dean looked at him and they're eyes met and held for a second.

"If God does exist as you say...he'll be okay."

Dean nodded slowly and took another drink, hoping he was right. 

On the way to bed, feeling the effects of the alcohol, he passed Jenny's room and heard the muffled sounds of sobs. He put a hand on the door knob and was about to go in and make sure she was okay but thought second of it. He knew she probably didn't want to talk about it either. She reminded him so much of himself when it came to emotions and knew she probably was hurting and wanted to cry it out. If it was Cas that's what he would want. 

He turned and went back to his room. Taking his shirt off he slipped into bed next to Cas. The curve of Cas's body folding into his, he pulled him closer. Exhaustion pulled at him and sleep came so fast he didn't hear Cas whisper he loved him into the dark and silence of the room.


End file.
